Trusting Jay(17)

There had been no word from Jay. Jenny and Sam were kind enough not to pry, but I’m sure it was killing them. My mood had been sour, and they had both allowed me to act like a sullen child and not tried to rip the information from my throat.

It had been almost a whole week since I’d seen Jay, and I still hadn’t heard from him. I didn’t know what to do. Send him another text? Or let it die. He’d said he was into me, so on one hand I should be glad he’d vanished from my life. I didn’t want a relationship last weekend. But now, I’m not sure. I missed his company. Hanging out in the park that afternoon was the most fun I’d had in years. If not ever. And sitting with him at the basketball game had been exhilarating. He was so much better than Matt it wasn’t even funny. But it took Jay leaving for me to realize what I really felt.

Except I’d already hurt him, and I felt terrible. The guilt has been crushing me all week, as is now to the point where it’s becoming suffocating. I could not figure out what to do, I was exhausted from days of little of sleep. Between Jay and Calvin, I was an emotional wreck by the time the fucking Friday Weeksend report rolled around.

My chest heaved and I felt nauseous. Without saying anything, I stood up and left.



I walked all the way home in my heels. At eleven am on a workday. I collapsed in my bed and cried. I hated myself for crying and I cried even harder.

I had nothing left to lose. Before I could chicken out, I brought up Jay’s name and pressed call. Please pick up, please pick up. I squeezed my eyes shut and chanted. Three rings, four rings,

“Abbie.” My chest swirled with joy at the sound of Jay’s voice.

“I’m so sorry,” I blurted.

“Are you okay? You sound upset.”

I swallowed and tried not to sound like I was crying, “I am upset! I treated you so terribly!”

“Are you at work?”

“No, I left. I’m at home.”

“Stay put, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

The line went dead, and I stopped breathing for a few moments while I stared at the phone in my hand. My brain kicked my ass into gear. Jay was coming!

I pulled myself from the bed and washed my face, trying to reduce my red, swollen eyes as much as possible. I reapplied my make-up and smoothed my hair. Lastly, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a huge glass of water, downed it and filled it again.

Even though I was expecting him, I jumped when the intercom buzzed.





16





I pulled open the front door and waited, my heart thumping so fast I thought I might pass out.

The elevator door opened. Jay walked out, wearing an exquisitely cut Italian suit and looking better than ever. He covered the hallway in long strides and before I knew it, he’d pulled me into him and pressed me hard against his chest.

My chin quivered, and I blinked back tears.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured.

He kissed the top of my head, shuffled me into my condo and shut the door. I slipped my arms underneath his suit jacket, and there was no way I was letting go until he pushed me away.

“Hey, hey,” he said looking down on me. I looked back up at him and got drawn into his deep brown eyes. I managed to stop my chin quivering for long enough to force a small smile at him.

“Abbie, Beautiful, listen. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry, for leaving and ignoring you all week. It was terrible of me, I thought, after what you said, that you weren’t interested in me and it was kind of hard for me to take.”

A strange noise emanated from my throat, halfway between a sob and a laugh. I can’t believe he apologized to me. It was kind of surreal.

I buried my head back in his chest, and felt guilty for getting salty tears on his expensive suit.

“Cup of coffee,” he said. I didn’t know if he was asking for one, or offering to make me one.

“I’m not leaving my condo.”

“Don’t you have any coffee here?”

“Of course I have coffee.” We went into the kitchen, I set up the coffeemaker and it started percolating. The ritual calmed me, as if I was resetting my day.

Jay came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. My eyes shut, unsure where this was going. Where I was going. I thought Matt’s actions had ensured I would never feel anything towards another man again. But here I was, intoxicated by both his touch and his presence.

I leaned backwards into him, his hands turned me around and soon our mouths were locked together. All my muscles relaxed under the firm pressure of his hands on the small of my back. I leaned into him, willing him not to stop.

He tilted my head sideways and kissed down my neck. When he reached my blouse, he nuzzled at it while his hands fumbled with my buttons. I frantically worked at his dress shirt from the bottom up. Each time a button revealed more of his chiseled muscles, I traced my fingers over them before moving onto the next.