Avery takes off towards Brooklyn’s bedroom, and I set out to dish up some ice cream. Her kitchen’s pretty small so it doesn’t take me too long to find her bowls and utensils. I can hear Brooklyn start crying when she’s placed in the bathtub. It’s hard for me to hear so I can’t imagine how Avery’s holding up back there. After the bowls are dished up and put in the freezer to keep frozen, I head back towards the bathroom to see if I can lend a hand.
I slowly step into the doorway, not really sure where to look or what to say. “Maddox!” Brooklyn stops whining long enough to holler at me. So, I walk into the little bathroom and crouch down next to Avery who is using a cup to cover her daughter with water. “I sick.” She starts to whimper again and has this glassy, empty look in her eyes.
“I know, kiddo. Your mommy’s gonna try to make you feel better.”
“We pway,” she says and hands me a cup that’s floating in the water. Play in the tub? She might as well have spoken a foreign language. Since I have no idea what I’m doing, I dip the cup down into the water and poor it into another floating cup. We continue to pour water back and forth between all the floating cups while Avery continues to gently pour the water over Brooklyn’s head, back, and chest. Before I know it, Brooklyn and I are playing happily while she takes her bath. She’s oblivious to the fact that all of this is an effort to try to bring down her fever.
“She hasn’t coughed since she’s been in here,” Avery says as she pours water over her head one last time. “She’s been in here awhile so I can probably get her out now.” I reach down and release the drain as Avery stands Brooklyn up and wraps the towel around her.
“Come on, baby girl. Let’s get a t-shirt on and then we’ll go have some ice cream that Maddox brought over.”
“Ice cweam! I want chocowate ice cweam!”
Avery winks at me as she heads across the hall to Brooklyn’s bedroom. I finish picking up the remains of the bath and head back into the kitchen. I pull out the bowls I stuck in the freezer and set all three bowls of chocolate chip ice cream on the kitchenette. I hear Brooklyn before I see her as she runs around the corner and grabs onto my leg. I pick her up and start to put her in her booster seat at the table, but she won’t let go of me. She’s clutching onto my neck like she’s afraid I’m leaving forever.
“I sit wiff you,” she says in a small voice. How in the hell can I deny her that? I can’t. Period. So, I sit down and place her in my lap. I reach for the small bowl I had just set down in front of her seat and hand her the spoon. She digs in with gusto.
I look up and notice Avery staring at us; watching us very closely. When she looks up and catches my eye, she gives me a little smile. I slide the second bowl in front of her chair and point at her to sit. She does, and together we sit quietly eating our ice cream.
“She’s going to need another bath,” Avery says.
“That’s what I had planned after ice cream tonight. Though, she wasn’t factored into my original plans,” I say coyly with a half grin.
“Sorry that tonight got all messed up.”
“It didn’t. It might not have gone exactly as I was planning, but this actually is just as good.” I take another bite of the ice cream and give her a big smile.
When the ice cream bowls are all but licked clean and mouths have been washed off, Maddox gets up with Brooklyn and takes her into the living room. I hear the TV flip on and he doesn’t seem to have any troubles finding some cartoons, even being after nine o’clock at night. I set out to straightening up the kitchen. Since Brooklyn seems content and there is no noise from the living room except the television, I take the opportunity to wash up a few dishes.
After the dishes are clean and drying in the rack, I head to the living room to check on Brooklyn. When I walk in the room, the sight before me stops me dead in my tracks. Maddox is sitting on the couch, head back, legs stretched out in front of him, and Brooklyn is curled up on his chest, both sound asleep.
I’ve happily raised Brooklyn her entire little life by myself, with no one to help with the day to day meals, laundry, or bedtime, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d do it exactly the same all over again and have had not a single regret. Yet, sometimes I wonder if she’ll resent me when she gets older for not making it work with Drake or finding another dad for her. She’s missing out on so much in that respect. I’ve never really thought about it until this moment when I see her curled up in his protective arms, sleeping on his chest. When will my quick answer to the ‘where’s my daddy?’ questions no longer be enough? When will she want to know about Drake and why he’s not in her life? My heart aches for her and what she’s missing out on by not having a relationship with her dad. I won’t force someone like Drake to spend time with her or love her. I want to give her a real daddy. A good daddy. The best daddy. Someone who will protect her and love her like she’s his own fresh and blood. Someone who will do anything for her like I would. Maybe someone like Maddox.