"Are we talking every day?"
"No." She seemed to hesitate, probably because she knew that neither of us could do it every day without cracking. Smart cookie, this one. "Every other. And every Saturday off. Come on, Matty. I've seen you fight and you know you have some issues to work out. You've got to get some more speed if you want to be faster than Willie. I've got lots of tapes we can watch, and I learned some great new flexibility exercises that will make those kicks really fly. What do you say? It could be fun."
For the first time since we met, I actually got the feeling she believed that. She'd been determined before, and always ambitious, but only now that we were talking about more hands-on work was she lit up from the inside.
"You love it, don't you?"
She pursed her lips and made a show of leaning forward to scrape something off the windshield as she drove. "Love what?"
"MMA. You love fighting."
"Yeah, I like it a lot."
"No. You love it. So why don't you do it more? You have a real knack for it, you’re quick as hell and you've got all the technical knowhow.”
"Ah, but I'm missing one key component," she said, sitting back with a wry but sad smile.
"And what's that?"
"A dick."
I let out a short laugh but then frowned at her when I realized she was serious. "They have a bunch of MMA tournaments for women, and there are a handful of girls who make a living in the cage. Why can’t you be one of them?"
Granted, she wasn't at the level of Ronda Rousey or anything, but she had a passion and feel for it that I knew in my gut could be something more if she let it.
"Mickey prefers if I stick to the back end of the business."
Who the fuck is Mickey? I was about to snap, but then I stopped myself. It had occurred to me more than once that they might have been more than boss and employee at some point — Mickey didn’t seem like the type to take people under his wing for nothing— but I couldn’t bring myself to push because I didn’t want to hear the answer.
“We don’t need him. I’ll help you."
"Help me what?"
"We take this three weeks and train together. Every other day, both getting into condition. Then, you let me find a fight for you. Something in New York, or out of town, Mickey doesn't even have to know."
The MMA ladies circuit was small and didn't have a large following. Unless he was specifically looking for it, Mickey would never find out about it, and what he didn't know...
I couldn't deny that was part of the lure for me. Defying that motherfucker when he thought he had me up and down, dead to rights. What was strange was how small a part that played in my decision.
So what was the rest of it? Because suddenly I wanted this more than I'd wanted anything in a very long time.
"I just don’t know…"
I swallowed my disappointment, but nodded anyway. Odds were, in a battle for supremacy over Kayla's priorities, Mickey was going to win. From what I had gathered, she’d worked for him long enough that she felt like she owed him her unwavering loyalty. And maybe she did.
“He would look at this as a betrayal. I know it sounds old fashioned, but that’s the kind of guy he is.” She flicked a glance my way. “And I owe him. He helped me out of a jam when I was younger.”
Mickey loved collecting favors. Seemed to be his favorite pastime. But she owed herself something too. A chance to blaze her own path and find the strength that life in the cage could give you. It was indescribable how empowering it was, especially for people who’d had bad times.
"Think about it. I’m going to go hard first thing Monday. If you want in, come over after work and we’ll get to it."
She pulled into the gym parking lot and popped the car into park. I turned to face her, sad to see that she looked more apprehensive than excited now. "I guess I’ll-"
"See me Monday,” I finished for her. “You deserve this, Red. Don’t let me down.”
As I jogged across the parking lot, I was more optimistic than I’d been in years and that calmed me right the fuck down because it was the one thing I couldn't afford to be. Shit could —and did, so often— turn on a dime. Today hadn’t changed the fact that my feelings for this girl were as confused as fuck and I was still stuck under the thumb of the devil himself with no way out for the foreseeable future.
But I had to admit, if I was going to be stuck somewhere, it might as well be next to Kayla James.
Chapter Six
Kayla
Don’t let me down.
The words flitted through my mind again, as they had so many times over the past week.
Slumping forward, I laid my head on the desk in front of me and groaned. If ever there was a good time to tell Matty the truth it had been right after he’d selflessly offered to try to help me achieve my dream. It had been on the tip of my tongue, but I chickened out. For someone who’d signed on to be in business with Mickey, he sure seemed to hate him, and I was ashamed that I didn’t. How could I explain that to Matty without having to explain all the rest?