Truly Madly Deeply Boxed Set(191)

Kevin walked to the bed and stood over his father. He couldn’t say the man had raised him. By sheer luck and a sainted mother, he’d survived. And he had to admit looking at Max, he’d survived well. He hadn’t thought so up till now, but at least he hadn’t ended up a drunk like his old man, and that was saying something.

Kevin’s childhood had been a nightmare. Though he wanted so much more for his child than he’d been given, he didn’t know if he was capable of providing it. All he’d managed so far was one letdown after another.

But Nikki had asked him to try. Looking at his father now, Kevin knew he’d have to give more than he’d managed so far. He’d have to be there for them both.

He only hoped it would be enough.


* * *

Nikki woke up alone in her bed. Because Kevin had been adamant, she’d taken a taxi home from the hospital so she could get a decent night’s sleep on a comfortable mattress. For the baby’s sake, and for Kevin’s peace of mind, she’d agreed, but she hadn’t left him willingly. She just didn’t want to give him something else to worry about when he should be focusing on his father.

After a quick shower and change, she called for a cab and headed back to the hospital. Max had been admitted and Nikki tiptoed into his room so as not to disturb him. But the sight that greeted her was more moving and more disturbing to her than she’d anticipated.

Max lay in much the same position they’d found him in last night, sleeping on his back, an IV sticking out of his arm. But Kevin had fallen asleep in a hardback chair he’d pulled to the side of the bed, no doubt so he could watch over the father he didn’t understand.

He was standing guard, Nikki thought, in the protective mode she’d come to know too well. Her heart twisted at the sight. After his admission last night she understood now why Kevin took his responsibilities so seriously, why he berated himself when something went wrong, and why he insisted on being in control.

To his way of thinking, if he controlled the situation around him, bad things couldn’t happen. He really believed his mere presence could prevent fate from intervening. As if anything could, she thought sadly.

But at least she now understood why he felt responsible for Tony’s death, why he believed if he’d been there, he could have prevented it. Why he insisted on taking care of her and the baby.

And why she had to allow it. She had to accept him as he was or walk away. A man like Kevin couldn’t change.

She touched a hand to his shoulder and he jolted upright. “Sorry,” she whispered.

He rubbed his palms over his eyes, reminding her of an exhausted but weary little boy. Yet when he removed his hands and rose to his feet, he was every inch a man. Between the razor stubble, which was more than a day old, and the deep onyx of his eyes, he was the rebel cop she...

Nikki cleared her throat, choking back the word love, unable to cope with the reality of such a strong emotion when she’d just acknowledged that Kevin wouldn’t, couldn’t change. Not for his child and certainly not for her.

“Is he okay?” She rubbed her hands over her arms. Anything to keep busy and not think about the driving need to comfort him.

He shrugged. “Max had a restless night but what can you expect when you’ve ingested that amount of alcohol,” he said in disgust.

She nodded. “I brought you a change of clothes.”

She lay a plastic bag at the foot of the bed. “And some black coffee. I figured you’d need some.”

“Know what I really need?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“You,” he said and she walked into his open arms.

Nikki allowed his warmth to envelop her and hoped she gave some of the same strength back to him. They’d need it in the days and months ahead. Because she now knew nothing would play out the way she’d hoped. Mannings are no good for taking care of anyone except themselves. What a misguided legacy Max had passed on to his son.

But this episode with Max had driven home the fact that Kevin would always consider her a responsibility. One he had no choice but to face, but one he feared failing.

Maybe he’d need her for a moment, or a night, but in the end, he’d keep his distance for fear of letting her down, for fear of destroying what he touched. He’d never let himself admit to caring. To loving. To wanting the family she so desperately needed.

Nikki blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. She’d marry Kevin as planned. She’d give her child a name and all the benefits he deserved starting out in life.

But happily ever after wasn’t in her future, and she’d put out feelers in case of this eventuality. Now it was time to act accordingly.