Ever since they’d made their decision, she appeared more serene and calm than he could admit to being. Not because he wanted to back out but because he was waiting for her to do it first.
She glanced at the small digital clock on the nightstand. “Is everything okay? You’re usually home much earlier.” Her hand curled around the comforter in a tight fist. “I didn’t mean I was keeping tabs on you or anything. I just meant that...”
He let out a long breath of air. “I didn’t think you were checking up on me.”
“Everything okay at work?”
He nodded. “I stopped by to see Max.” Not because he wanted to but because he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t make sure his old man was okay.
“How’s he doing?”
“He wasn’t there.” Kevin had a hunch where he could have found his father, but he wasn’t in the mood to hit the seedy bars downtown.
She patted the empty side of the bed. “Sit down and relax,” she murmured.
Every day he promised himself he wouldn’t climb into bed with Nikki and selfishly take what she so unselfishly offered. But he couldn’t stop himself— and she didn’t seem to mind. If anything, the stiltedness between them dissolved each time he joined her beneath the covers.
She’d asked him to make an effort at doing the family thing. But he wasn’t comfortable sharing his feelings over the dinner table, as he’d never grown up with a family who ate together or discussed their daily events. No one really cared about anything except tiptoeing around his old man’s moods and temper.
Yet as soon as he joined Nikki in bed, the discomfort dissolved and barriers dropped. He hoped she was satisfied with that because he couldn’t offer any more. He just didn’t know how.
At her prompting, he sat down on top of the comforter. She turned toward him and drew her legs up to rest her chin on her knees. He met her gaze and she extended her hand. Meet me halfway, she seemed to be asking.
And there was nothing he wanted more.
Before he could take her hand, the jarring ring of the telephone shattered the peaceful, welcome silence. And after he’d taken the call, he knew peace was like hope. Both damn illusions.
* * *
Kevin could swear he heard his heart pounding during the entire half-hour trip into Boston. By the time he parked, he’d worked up a good sweat. He’d seen Max in many situations, but flat on his back in a hospital bed would be a new one.
When they got inside, the emergency room of the hospital was bustling with people. Kevin stopped at the sign-in desk. “I’m here to see Max Manning.”
The harassed-looking woman behind the desk glanced down at a clipboard filled with names and other information. “Are you immediate family?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Nikki slipped her hand inside his and squeezed once. He appreciated the reassurance. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to make it through this without her by his side. Seeming to understand, she hadn’t said a word. After he’d hung up the phone, she’d just climbed out of bed and dressed so she could accompany him to the hospital—where she’d get to witness yet another reason why she shouldn’t want or expect anything from Kevin Manning.
“Through those doors and ask at the desk inside,” the woman said, then turned to the next person on line behind them.
They stepped aside. “Maybe I should have had him move into the house,” Kevin muttered. But he’d escaped hell once, and he hadn’t wanted to live with Max ever again. Selfish, Kevin knew. Because now his father lay passed out in a hospital bed.
“You can’t stop a drunk from drinking,” Nikki said, reminding him of his own words.
He shrugged. She was right, but damned if he could shake the nagging notion that he could have prevented this. Just like he could have prevented Tony’s death. If he’d just been there. “I’d better get in to see him.”
She nodded in agreement “I’ll wait here,” she said in an obvious effort to give him space.
He ought to take it but couldn’t. He gave Nikki’s hand a tug and headed through the emergency room doors, uncertain what he’d find. What he found was Max, looking sallow and appearing to be out cold in a small cubicle enclosed by a curtain similar to the one found in bathtub showers.
Kevin shook his head. Change the scenery and the hospital bed, and this could have been Max’s living room couch. “Is he okay?” Kevin asked the attending nurse.
“He’s stable. The doctor will be by with more information later. He’s resting comfortably now.”
He nodded. “Thanks.”