He entered the familiar building and walked up the three flights of stairs. The dark stairwell with its many steps was another reason why he wasn’t comfortable with Nikki staying on here after Janine was gone. His rambling house with its many rooms on the ground level would be more comfortable for Nikki. And more difficult for him. Sharing a home with her would give him glimpses of warmth and the illusion of a family... He didn’t deserve either.
He knocked on the door and waited. No answer. Kevin banged again, louder this time. Janine was at work, but Nikki didn’t hold a day job. He’d chosen to arrive before nine, before Nikki would be out for the day. He leaned closer to the door and listened. Still silent. He banged again.
An uncomfortable prickle of fear worked on his nerves. Even if she’d been asleep, his pounding would have awakened her by now. He had no reason to believe anything was wrong... except she’d fainted once before. He had a hunch she wasn’t feeling as well as she claimed. What if she’d gotten dizzy again? What if she’d passed out cold on the floor, or worse, in the shower?
What if, like Tony, she was alone and something was wrong and he was too late? Kevin didn’t hesitate. He jimmied the lock and tore inside the apartment. The empty apartment, he realized as he glanced around and hit every room, checking the beds, the couch, and the floors.
Feeling like a fool, Kevin made his way into the kitchen and lowered himself onto one of the bar stools. He’d obviously overreacted. Though his adrenaline still flowed fast and his heart still pounded against his chest, he forced himself to breathe deeply. Part of him felt like an ass, breaking into the apartment on a whim. And part of him still felt uneasy.
He ran his fingers through his hair, attempting to calm his raging nerves. So Nikki had gone out early. He was sure he could count a number of places open at this hour, but he couldn’t discount the nagging feeling in his gut that something was off.
He looked around the impeccably clean apartment, seeing nothing unusual or out of place. Until his gaze fell to the open telephone book on the kitchen counter.
Planned Parenthood.
His worst fear was confirmed.
When Nikki had found out about the pregnancy, she’d said she needed time to think. Kevin had convinced himself she meant about how to deal with her altered future. But what if she’d spent the weekend thinking about whether she wanted this baby at all? Though Nikki loved life and children, she’d suffered enough in the last few months to have a skewed perception of reality. And the one person she ought to turn to, the baby’s father, had already proved he couldn’t be trusted when things got heated or emotional.
What if, feeling alone and abandoned, she turned to the one option she’d surely regret later? The one option he regretted now? Planned or not, Kevin was responsible for the life growing inside her and he was responsible for Nikki as well.
With a second glance at the phone book and address, in a part of town he would never allow her to frequent alone, he jumped from the stool and left the apartment, hitting the street at a dead run.
* * *
Nikki wrapped the white sheet around her naked body and waited for the doctor’s return. The sterile room felt cold and empty, unlike her heart, which was warm and full of more hope than she’d had in awhile. She pressed a hand against her flat stomach.
A child. Kevin’s child, yes, but it was her baby, her hope. Her future. Once the shock had worn off, she’d examined the difficulties that lay ahead and despite the fear and uncertainty, she acknowledged a flurry of nervous excitement as well.
“Sorry, I had an emergency phone call.” The young female doctor entered the room, wheeling a small machine behind her.
Nikki smiled. “That’s okay. You already gave me the news I was expecting... I mean the news I was expecting to hear.”
The doctor laughed. “Either way, sounds about right to me. Your examination was fine. Nothing unusual. But I’d like to verify the due date and check some other things with an ultrasound.” Nikki wanted to tell her there was no need to worry about the accuracy of her due date. She’d been with one man, one time. And she’d never forget.
“Ready?” the woman asked with a smile.
Nikki was grateful for the doctor’s warm manner and youth. The sheer terror she’d felt upon entering the building for basic prenatal care had evaporated under this woman’s caring ministrations. Although she couldn’t say what she’d expected from a phone book-picked clinic, Nikki was thankful for what she’d found.
The doctor shifted the white sheet until the opening fell to Nikki’s back. “Before I do an ultrasound, I want to remind you, we’ve already discussed your options and though you’ve made your feelings clear, you need to remember something.”