“What do you want?” she asked him. The sooner she found out, the sooner she could get rid of him. She could use a hot shower and catch a few decent hours of sleep in her own bed before the Saturday night shift began.
“To settle things between us once and for all.”
Nikki shrugged. “Funny, I thought we already had.”
He didn’t answer, just thrust out the hand with the innocuous-looking bag.
She grabbed it and peered inside. Her stomach rolled once more, only this time she had a better hunch as to the cause. “Home pregnancy test?”
“Take it and then we’ll talk.”
The command was insulting, the possibility frightening. She’d just discovered she was losing her apartment. She’d counted on her bartending job to hold her over for the time being, until she could save enough to finish her semester of student teaching while holding down a part-time job that didn’t leave her wiped out in the morning. Pregnant women didn’t waitress in a cocktail bar.
Pregnant women... Was it possible? They hadn’t used protection, she thought, recalling every intimate detail of her time with Kevin. She swallowed hard, then mentally counted months. Nikki began to shake as she realized anything was possible. Since that night, she hadn’t had a spare second to worry about anything except getting to work on time and sleeping enough to serve drinks again the next night. But there was the frequent nausea, the dizziness... not unlike when her parents had died, but much more persistent.
She couldn’t be certain. She met his steady gaze. “Even if I am pregnant, which I doubt, it’s not your concern.” It was hers, she thought, her fear mounting.
“You’re wrong.”
“We shared one night, Kevin. It’s over.”
He shook his head slowly. “Princess, I have a hunch that night was just the beginning.”
* * *
Nikki hoped with everything in her that he was wrong. Her hand went to her lower abdomen and molded around her flat stomach. Or did she? She’d gone to college because she’d believed in being able to support herself. She’d chosen education because she loved children. Teaching had been a way to be around kids until she was able to fulfill her dream of having a family of her own.
Only financial considerations had forced her to put her education on hold. Although having a baby was a dream come true, the timing couldn’t be worse. She was barely supporting herself. In no way could she afford to care for another tiny human being.
A child. Hers and Kevin’s. Nikki’s hand curled around the pink, blue, and white box. It was time to find out. “I’ll be back.” She took two steps forward, when he called out to her.
“Nikki.”
She turned.
“Forget what happened in the past. If you’re pregnant, I’ll be there.”
She couldn’t answer. Not yet. Because her dreams of children had always included two parents and a loving home. The kind she and Tony had grown up in. Kevin would support her; she didn’t doubt his word. True, he’d left after their one night, but no promises had been exchanged. He was a man of honor, despite what had passed between them. He’d be there for her now just as he said... but only because she was having his baby. Not because he loved her.
Kevin could provide the two-parent home of her dreams, but the warmth, love, caring, and devotion would be missing. She pushed back the nausea that seemed to be her constant companion and locked herself in the bathroom.
If she was pregnant, she’d be someone’s obligation once more. Worse, she’d be Kevin’s obligation, tolerated because of a baby they’d created, but not loved for herself. Oh, God. She wanted him, but not like that.
She opened the flaps on the side of the box. A quick read of the instructions, and easy compliance. She glanced at her watch. In three minutes she’d know. Nikki lowered herself onto the closed toilet seat and chewed on her thumbnail.
“Is it time?” His voice sounded from outside the bathroom door.
She drew an unsteady breath. Though she’d prefer to be alone when she found out, Kevin had as much right to know the results as she did. And she might as well not suffer these agonizing minutes by herself. “Come on in.”
The door opened and he walked into the small bathroom she shared with Janine. His gaze flew to the white stick lying on the counter top by the sink. “Well?”
She glanced at her watch. “Two more minutes.”
He propped one shoulder against the wall. Silence surrounded them and tension flowed thick until she couldn’t take another second. “What are you doing with yourself now that you’re back?” she asked. Maybe normal conversation would make the time pass more quickly. “I know you haven’t returned to the force, at least not yet.”