Truly(83)
Silence.
Her lids opened to incredulous staring.
“What, is that so weird?”
“You couldn’t say that out loud?”
“Well, it wasn’t just that. I wanted you to … suck my nipples, too.”
He watched her for a moment, and then he sat up to one side. “Take off your bra.”
“Right now?”
“Right now.”
She obediently lifted off the bed and undid the clasp, then eased it off her arms. When she had it free, she handed it to him. He tossed it over his shoulder.
“Now your underwear.”
Heat crept into her cheeks, but she did as she was told, hooking her thumbs into the waistband and pushing. She had to sit up halfway to untangle her feet, which created fat rolls that he must have seen, and she hated that, but whatever. Whatever.
She handed him the panties. He lifted and inspected them, smiled like an evil, evil person, and threw them on the floor.
“Say pussy.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Say pussy. Or is that not what you call it?”
What did she call it? She didn’t call it anything. All her sex words were for other people’s body parts. Ben had a cock, when she let herself think the word, but pussy? In reference to herself?
“I—I’m not sure I want to.”
He laid his hand on her stomach and rested it there. Leaned closer. “Say it anyway.”
This was dumb. She didn’t like it. She wouldn’t say it.
He couldn’t make her.
“No.”
Ben smiled. It was a depraved smile. How had she not realized before how depraved he was? She was in trouble.
“Somebody really messed with your head, didn’t they, May-Belle?”
“Not that I know of.”
He dropped down onto one elbow beside her, propped his head in one hand, and said, “I want to lick your pussy.”
She closed her eyes, the words like a slap. A sting of surprise, followed by a warm wash of pleasure.
“Some people would call it a cunt. Do you like that word, May?” She wouldn’t open her eyes, but she felt him lean closer. “No, you don’t. Your forehead got all unhappy. All right, we won’t use that one. We’ll go with pussy. I want to lick your pussy and suck on your clit.”
He paused, gauging her reaction, which was basically that her hips jerked, and everything that was already wet got wetter. “I’m going to suck your nipples and bite them, because you liked it when I bit you earlier. I’m going to kiss you over and over again, because your mouth drives me crazy, and then I’m going to sink inside you and fuck you until you’re half blind and begging me to let you come.”
May gasped. Somewhere in the middle of that speech, she’d lost the ability to breathe. He wasn’t even touching her, but she was dying, dying.
“But not,” Ben said, “until you start telling me what you need.”
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“You sure as hell can. You already did. You need me to kiss your breasts, right?”
“Yes.”
He dipped his head and placed a chaste kiss on the top swell of one breast. “Like this?”
“No.”
“How?”
“Harder. More …” Oh, damn him for making her do this. Why couldn’t he guess?
“More wet and … and—Come on, Ben. You know.”
He chuckled. “Sometimes I know. Sometimes I don’t know. Do you know what I want right now?”
“You just said.”
“That was my long-term plan. Right this second, I want to know you trust me.”
“Of course I trust you.” She was here, wasn’t she? Naked in his bed? Did he think she did this all the time?
“I want you to trust that you can say anything to me, confess what you want, and I’m not going to judge you. I won’t laugh. I’ll give it to you.” He paused and lifted his head to meet her eyes. “Unless you want, like, three other guys in here with us. That’s not happening.”
May smiled. “I don’t want three other guys.” She stroked the back of her knuckles over his cheek. “I trust you.”
“So tell me.”
She took a deep breath. She could do this. He was right that she needed to. What he was talking about—asking for what she wanted, taking what she needed—that was the foundation of intimacy, and she’d never had it. Not with Dan, and not with the guys who came before him. Sex, yes. But the kind of trust it took to say what she wanted out loud?
Never.
This was her chance. The first time in her whole confined, bounded adulthood when she could tell the truth in bed. Demand things.
She looked at the ceiling. “I, uh. I like it hard.”