Truly(63)

XChfSardo: Yes.



That hadn’t been a typing delay. Was she talking to him? Thinking about whether she was okay or not?

She’d said Ben was in a bad mood, and Allie could just imagine May placating him. She was sweet like that, always trying to smooth over trouble, to keep people from fighting. May didn’t do well with excess emotion of any kind—too much anger, too much sadness, even too much excitement or elation, and she’d try to find a way to bring the level down.

They were so different. Allie was the small one, but otherwise she was all excess—an explosion of hair and language and big, dramatic feelings—while May was so much bigger but quieter in every way that counted. Her earth-toned clothes and her empathetic, emotion-dampening ways.

And yet here Allie was, about to get married to the kind, quiet boy next door, while May was in New York, possibly instigating a fling with a stern-featured, ticked-off man right after making national news for attacking Dan in front of an audience.

Allielooya: We’ve swapped lives.

XChfSardo: ?

XChfSardo: Did u stab Matty w a fork?

Allielooya: Never mind. Tell me again U R ok.

XChfSardo: I’m great.

Allielooya: U can’t bullshit me.

XChfSardo: Not. Past few days have been crazy.

Allielooya: What kind of crazy?

XChfSardo: Every kind. Difficult & confusing sometimes.

Allielooya: U hate difficult & confusing.

XChfSardo: I know. But it’s ok. Fun, too.

Allielooya: Does not compute.

XChfSardo: I know! Don’t worry. I’m having Life Experiences.



Allie snorted. Their mother was big on “life experiences,” at least in the abstract.

Allielooya: Life xperiences r scary. U need training wheels.

XChfSardo: Nope. Dived in deep end. It’s ok—I can swim!

Allielooya: But the sharks! The eels! Sharp coral! Aaaaaa!

XChfSardo: U sound like Mom.

Allielooya: Somebody has to. If not u …

XChfSardo: Ha. Very funny.

Allielooya: Seriously, ur safe w him?

XChfSardo: Definitely. Don’t worry.

XChfSardo: Has Dan called? Strange radio silence.



Allie’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. She typed Dan is here, then stared at the words.

If May knew, she’d feel guilty. Maybe she’d feel like she had to rush home even sooner, like Dan was a problem she had to solve. But she’d broken up with him. She wasn’t responsible for him anymore.

What would May think if she knew that Dan had been hanging around the cabin, still welcome in the family after she’d kicked him out of her life? Wouldn’t that seem disloyal?

The cursor blinked.

Allie deleted the sentence and typed,

Don’t worry about Dan. Is Ben a good kisser?



It was a hunch. Not quite serious, not quite a joke—the question they’d asked each other about every guy they’d been interested in during college and ever since. They asked it of strangers they ogled at concerts, of first dates and third dates.

It meant, Have you kissed him?

It meant, How serious is this?

After a moment, May’s answer came through with a chime.

Un-fucking-believable.



It was Allie’s word—the highest praise she had to offer on the kissing scale she had developed in college.

A loaded response, because Allie had always maintained that if a guy was an un-fucking-believable kisser, she had no choice but to sleep with him. Un-fucking-believable kissers didn’t come along often enough to waste.

Again, her fingers hovered over the keyboard. But she took a deep breath and typed anyway, because she knew if she’d been in May’s position, May would have done it for her.

Allielooya: Ur path is clear, grasshopper.

XChfSardo: o_0

XChfSardo: I should go.

XChfSardo: XOXOXOXOXOXO



Allie was smiling faintly as she switched off her phone.

Back at the cabin, everyone was waiting for May to come to her senses, but Allie was starting to hope she wouldn’t. At least, not right away.

May had never cut loose, never done bad things just to feel the rush, never chased after inappropriate men or woken up in an unfamiliar bedroom with a hangover and a weird rash.

Was it wrong to want her to have some of that?

Was it wrong to want her to cut loose while also hoping, rather desperately, that she’d come home and get back together with Dan and tell Allie what to do and fix this mess?

Probably. Allie was wrong most of the time. And she felt so stuck, with the wedding coming up, that she pretty much had to be living vicariously through May.

But May deserved her fun after what Dan had done. She could put things back together later, after she’d bonked the hottie with the jaw of steel and the nice forearms. Allie would return to the cabin and tell everyone May wasn’t coming. Send Dan on home. Make up something to tell Mom that would give May this little bit of breathing room she needed.