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Truly(62)

By:Ruthie Knox


She typed a hasty “I’m here!”

The cursor blinked, and the words XChfSardo is typing came up. Then, the bloop of a message arriving:

XChfSardo: I’ve got a few minutes. What’s up?



What was up was that Allie had a hundred questions to ask her sister, a thousand things to say, and a clawing feeling of panic that kept rising into her throat at the weirdest moments, like when Matt took off his shirt in their room last night before he went to take a shower. He did it with his back turned to her, and she thought, I do that, too. They always undressed with their backs turned.

That wasn’t right, was it? That wasn’t how about-to-be-marrieds were supposed to be. Allie was fairly sure they were supposed to be knocking over gallon jugs of milk to fuck on kitchen tables, not falling asleep side by side, as asexual as a species that reproduced by budding.

What was up was that at this very moment, Dan and Matt were down on the dock, plopping fishing poles in the lake and drinking epic amounts of beer, while Dad carried on with his winterization chores and Mom sprinkled garlic salt on steaks in the kitchen.

After breakfast, Allie had broached the subject of May, and Mom had said, I’m sure your sister will be here soon, and when she sees him, they’ll work it out. As if May were simply suffering from a brief episode of senselessness.

What was up was that the future had completely lost its shape. Everything was strange and backwards, and Allie needed May. Not text messages, but May’s voice, if May’s presence wasn’t an option.

Allielooya: Call me?



The phone chimed right away with May’s reply.

XChfSardo: Can’t.



And then, a moment later, her explanation:

XChfSardo: Not alone. Wd b weird. Can text, tho.



Fighting back disappointment, Allie tried to pare her questions to the bare minimum.

Allielooya: Still in NY? Who R U with?

XChfSardo: Yes. Ben.

Allielooya: Who’s Ben?

XChfSardo: Guy I met at a Packers bar.



Allie plopped back onto the bench, because it was either that or hurl the phone into the pond in front of her, and if she did that, she’d be even worse off than she was now.

May had met a man at a Packers bar.

When Allie tried to wrap her head around it, her brain kind of shied away, like a skittish horse.

Allielooya: Who r u and what have u done w my sister?

XChfSardo: LOL

XChfSardo: Will explain when I c u.

Allielooya: When r u coming home?

XChfSardo: Tues.



The cursor blinked. XChfSardo is typing. Allie stared at it, willing May to fill the void between them with an explanation and a promise. I am the same sister I’ve always been. I haven’t abandoned you. I’d never do that.

But May would never attack Dan with a fork, disappear, or shack up with a strange man, either. She would never drop out of contact for a few days. She would never be this inconsiderate, because Allie was the inconsiderate one. They had their roles. It was rude of May to step outside them, rude and just … just wrong.

With a chime, May’s message popped up.

XChfSardo: I know this must seem strange. I tried 2 come home but my purse got stolen

XChfSardo: & I cdnt get on the plane w/o ID

XChfSardo: & I met this guy Ben who offered 2 let me sleep on his couch.

XChfSardo: He’s been showing me around NYC.



The cursor blinked. Allie read the messages three times, but it was all gaps. Her purse got stolen? I met this guy—but how? And where did the Packers bar fit—was it at the airport? Was he older, younger? Was he hot? Was May having a fling with some New York guy while Dan moped and drank and fished with Matt?

Another chime.

XChfSardo: & no, I’m not sleeping w/ him.



At least her sister knew her well enough to anticipate that question.

Allielooya: & ur not going to, right?

XChfSardo: No comment.



It wouldn’t be a strange statement from someone else, but for May to do anything but deny the possibility was totally out of character.

After considering for a moment, Allie tapped her reply.

Allielooya: Is he with u now?

XChfSardo: Yes.

Allielooya: Send me a pic.

XChfSardo: No. He’s in a bad mood.

Allielooya: Take 1 when he’s not looking.



A minute passed, and then a slightly fuzzy picture appeared of a guy in profile. He had hard features and a mean mouth, hair so short it was practically buzzed.

This was Ben?

He looked like the sort Allie had always gone for before Matt—hot in a stern, mysterious sort of way. The type of guy who’d chew May up and spit her back out.

Her sister was staying with him?

Oh man.

Allielooya: I can send you $$.

XChfSardo: It’s fine. He’s loaning me what I need.

Allielooya: Are you ok tho?



The pause that followed was longer than Allie felt comfortable with. Especially when May simply replied,