A large hand falls on my shoulder. “It’s not your fault, Rae,” Cole says.
Violet turns, tears in her blue eyes as she looks up at both of us. “I made the decision to drink and drive, not Jackson, not Callie… not anyone else but me.”
“Damn it, Rae.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I told you to stop beating yourself up.”
“Cole. I’m okay. One day, you and I will have babies of our own.” She smiles at him. “Just a little differently from most people, that’s all.”
“Yeah, we will,” he says, kissing her lightly. “As many as you want.”
I back up, trying to leave this moment for them. My heart is breaking for the son I never met, for the games of catch I’ll never play, and the stupid S’mores we’ll never make on camping trips.
Friends don’t say stupid, a little girl with big green eyes and curly brown hair whispers.
I grit my teeth and clench my jaw, cursing at my wayward thoughts and memories. Tears run down my face, but I don’t bother wiping them away. I want to hurt. I want to feel the pain.
Cole turns to look at me, and then he does the unexpected.
Letting go of Violet, he walks up to me. I think he’s going to hit me, but all he does is take me in his arms and hug me. “I’m here for you, Jackson. You want a relationship, then I’m all for it.”
In that moment, he sounds and looks so much like our dad, the dad I wanted to have, the dad we both deserved, but didn’t get, that I fucking lose it.
I wrap my arms around him and sob like a baby.
***
Later, while we’re eating dinner at Violet’s Nana’s house, I check my phone for messages. Unfortunately, none of them are from Bliss.
“Nice ring,” Cole says, staring at my hand. He’s sitting directly across from me, with Violet on his left side and Kelly on his right. My half-sister, I guess, since we have the same mom. She and Parker, my half-brother, didn’t come to the memorial.
“Wedding present from Bliss.”
The entire table goes silent.
“You really got married?” Violet asks. “I thought that was just a rumor.”
“Is she pretty?” Kelly asks.
“Beautiful.” I take a bite of ham.
“Bliss is very pretty.” Violet taps Kelly on the nose. “She has curly hair like yours, skin like yours, but instead of brown eyes, hers are green.”
“That girl’s body was banging in high school,” Parker says, and this time, everyone looks at him.
He holds up his hands. “Just saying what I was thinking.”
Cole levels him with a look. “Little more thinking and less talking next time.”
“Why didn’t you bring her?” Kelly asks.
“I didn’t think she, uh… it’s not an easy topic for us to discuss.”
Violet exhales. “Jackson, you should have brought her. I didn’t realize you two were together together.”
“You knew she was with me?”
Cole and Violet share a look. “We saw y’all leave in Everett’s car,” she admits. “But after that, I didn’t pay attention.”
“We were occupied with other things.” Cole picks up Violet’s hand, holding it up to the light. She’s wearing an engagement ring.
I feel… nothing. And that feels so damn good. “Congratulations.”
“Back to Bliss.” I take another bite of ham. Violet always was tenacious. “If she didn’t feel comfortable coming to the memorial, she could have stayed here, during the ceremony.”
“I didn’t want to drop her off in a strange place.” I glance at Violet’s Nana. “No offense, ma’am.”
“None taken, but I’ve known Bliss since she first moved here with her parents.” She set her glass of tea down. “Sweet child. Very quiet, but sweet.”
“She’s still like that,” Violet says.
I stab a carrot with my fork. “Sometimes she’s not.”
Cole cocks his head to one side. “Maybe we should change the subject.”
Laying down my fork, I wipe my mouth with my napkin and push my chair back. “I need to get going. My flight leaves in a couple of hours, so I’ll need enough time to get back through security.”
Violet perks up. “Cole will be happy to drive you to the airport.”
“He will?”
“I will?”
We say it simultaneously.
“Jinx!” Kelly shouts, and then giggles. “You owe me two cokes!”
“Use your inside voice, bug,” Cole admonishes, but he’s smiling a little too.
Kelly makes a face, and then goes back to pushing her vegetables around on her plate.