I sat back in the seat as I watched the scene unfold before me. Although she wasn't dressed up, I could tell she tried to look her best today because her hair was styled straight.
Her shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands, but at first, I couldn't tell what kind of crying it was.
Was she emotional because the visit went well? Was she overwhelmed with happiness because she finally reconciled with her mom?
Or had it gone badly? Maybe she didn't get to see her mom and she was disappointed.
When I saw her remove the postcard from her back pocket and rip it up, I knew I had my answer. She treasured that scrap of paper. There was only one reason she would destroy it.
Getting out of the truck I walked towards her, but she was so wrapped up in her grief that she didn't even notice me.
I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her.
At first she flinched, probably thinking I was some random dude.
"Baby … " I whispered and her breathing hitched at the sound of my voice. "Angel, please don't cry. God, it kills me when you cry."
"Travis?" she squeaked as she buried her face in my chest.
"Shhh. It's okay. I'm right here."
Several minutes went by as she soaked the front of my shirt. I rubbed her back and placed random kisses on the top of her head, wishing there was something I could do to fix this.
Without lifting her face, she took a deep breath and I could tell she was ready to explain what happened.
"S-she doesn't love me." She hiccupped as she finally started to spill the details of the visit with her mom. "She said so herself. Like, she actually said those words. She told me she'd tried and she just couldn't."
Angel wiped her nose with a tissue and sat up to look me in the eye.
Her face was red and puffy and I used my thumbs to wipe at the black mascara running down her cheeks. Even like this, she was still the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.
"I'm so sorry, baby," I said, knowing it wasn't enough. Knowing it wouldn't take away her pain.
"What does that say about me? My own mother couldn't love me."
Her conclusion that she was unlovable hit me deep. The one person in this world who was supposed to love her unconditionally made her feel like she was unworthy of love.
I hadn't exactly done anything to help in that department by withholding my true feelings.
Well, that was going to end right now.
"Angel, that doesn't say anything about the kind of person you are." My tone was serious. "It says everything about the kind of person she is."
She didn't look convinced. It was time to break out the big guns.
"I love you," I said, and my voice shook. "I should've told you before I left. I've wanted to say it for a while now. And this is a pretty shitty time and place to say it." I glanced at our surroundings. "But I promise to make it up to you. I'll say it every day-"
"Travis?" Angel interrupted my rambling. If I'd been paying attention, I would've seen the transformation on her face. Minutes ago she'd been devastated, but now a radiant smile was shining back at me. "I love you, too."
Best words I'd ever heard.
"Thank fuck," I sighed.
She giggled and I touched my forehead to hers. I kissed her and pushed my tongue past her lips. They tasted salty from her tears and I licked at them, wanting to take away any evidence of her sadness.
Before we could get too carried away, she pulled back, breaking the kiss.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, confused, as if she was now just realizing I was supposed to be halfway across the country.
"I had to tell you I love you."
"That's it? You came back just for that?" Her bright smile told me she was really happy about that, and I knew coming back had been the right decision.
I nodded. "You're kind of the most important thing to me. And I kind of love you a lot."
She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I pulled her onto my lap so she was straddling me and I was reminded of our first kiss on my couch. My heart sped up at the thought of what this could mean for her-what this could mean for us.
"Come home? With me?" I pulled back so she could see my face. I wanted her to know how much I meant it.
"Hmm, maybe," she teased, scrunching her face up while she pretended to think it over. "I guess I don't have anywhere else to go." Then her face got serious. "I'll try to find a job and I can get my own place."
"No," I said a bit too forcefully, then I softened tone. "No. I don't want you to find a place. I want you to live with me."
"But people will think we're crazy!" she exclaimed. "Don't you think it's too soon?"
I smiled because it was a ridiculous question. "Angel, nothing about our relationship has been conventional. But I don't care. This is us. This is how we started, and I want it with you. I want everything."
I took her beautiful face in my hands and rubbed my nose over hers.
She placed her hands over mine and said the second-best words I'd ever heard her say.
"Let's go home."
TRAVIS
On the way home, we stopped at a rest stop outside of Reno and we made love in the back of the semi.
I was sitting sideways on the bed with my back against the wall as she moved her hips on top of me. Her tits were level with my face and I took one into my mouth while I palmed the other.
I let her take control, let her grind down onto me. This position was a particular favorite of Angel's and I wasn't complaining. Also, I was tired as fuck, so letting her do the work was fine by me.
Well, most of the work. She gasped as I gripped her hips and thrusted up into her. Her body started to shake and I knew she was close. I slipped my hand between us and circled her clit with my thumb.
She threw her head back, pushing her tits into my face, and I gently bit down on her nipple.
"I love you," she whispered, right before she cried out and her pussy clamped down on my cock.
Her orgasm triggered my own and I spilled into her tight heat. I stayed inside her for a couple more minutes while we kissed. She didn't like it when I left her right away. I loved that.
After that, I needed a nap.
*
"Are you okay? Really okay?" I asked her, still concerned.
We were driving through the middle of Oklahoma and it was one of the most boring strips of highway in the country.
"Yeah. And no," she replied. "It just makes me … " She paused as she searched for the right word, and tears appeared in her eyes. She swallowed thickly before continuing. " … sad. I know that's not a very elaborate explanation. But it makes me sad."
She was right-it was a very simple way to describe how she was feeling, but it was enough. Even the simplest words could be powerful.
"When I was a kid, I thought I was so lucky," she went on. "Out of all the moms in the world, somehow I ended up with the best. I really believed that." She let out a humorless laugh and shook her head. "I actually felt sorry for the other kids because their moms weren't as good as mine. Even after she left, I held on to the idea that she cared. That she was somewhere, missing me, regretting the worst decision of her life."
With no idea what to say, I stayed silent. How could I tell her I was happy with the way things turned out? I was getting everything I wanted. She was here, in my truck, heading back home.
To our home. And it wasn't temporary this time.
"I don't want to hate her, Travis," Angel said, her voice quiet.
"You don't have to hate her," I said. "But you don't have to love her either. You don't owe her anything. You've gone the last ten years without her. You don't need her. Not needing her and hating her are two separate things. She can just be someone you used to know."
She frowned. "Well if that isn't depressing, I don't know what is. But you're right."
"I wish things had gone better for you." I hated that she was hurting. Her pain was my pain. "But am I a selfish bastard for being happy that you're with me now?"
"No." she smiled a little. "California isn't where I belong, anyway. Even if things had gone well … I'm not sure I would have decided to stay. My home is with you in the middle of a cornfield."
I chuckled. "Damn straight. And all those things you wanted with your mom … Someday when we have kids, you can still do those things with them."
Glancing over, I registered the shock I knew I'd see on her face. Mentioning the future this soon in the relationship could've been considered taboo, but I didn't care. I had already told her I loved her and I meant it.