I get up from the floor and start pacing.
“Belle’s ex-husband was a rich, powerful man, Jordan. He was a doctor – a heart surgeon. People respected him. He wouldn’t let her take Mia. Told her if she tried that he’d have her arrested for kidnapping.”
Yanking out a chair at the table, I sit down. “But she could have called the cops – told them what was happening to her. She had the evidence – the scars, her being in hospital because of his beatings.”
“You’re right she could have. But you know how these things go. She’d have to prove it, and she was up against a man from a wealthy family who ran in high circles. His dad was a good friend of the chief of police. Power and money can make things go away, son. But for all he did to Belle, she knew he wouldn’t hurt his own child which was how she was able to leave Mia with him.”
I bang my fist on the table, hard. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me! I can’t believe I’m hearing this shit! He wouldn’t hurt her – Dad, I’ve seen her scars.” I’ve felt her pain. “He beat her until the day he died. He made her life a fuckin’ misery! And because of him, violence was all she knew, so she ended up in a relationship with an asshole exactly like the one who raised her! Why do you think she left Boston, Dad? The bastard she was with – he beat her – tried to rape her.”
“No.” His voice is filled with shock and disbelief. He sounds exactly like I felt in the moment when she told me.
“No,” he repeats. “I found her – Mia. That was one of the reasons Belle told me about her. She wanted to know Mia, make her peace before she died, but by the time I found Mia, it was too late and Belle had passed.
“But I still went to Boston. You remember when I told you I had that police conference? I went then. I watched her for a few days, not in a creepy way, I just couldn’t decide whether to tell her about Belle or not. In the end, I decided against it – I didn’t think it was worth hurting Mia by telling her that the mother who had abandoned her as a baby had just died. But I wanted to know she was okay – happy. She seemed it. She was in school, had an application for Harvard. Lived in a great place and drove a nice car. And I saw her with him – her father, Oliver. They seemed to get along well.”
“Yeah, well Mia can wear a great mask, Dad. She’s a fuckin’ specialist at pretending to be something she isn’t.”
“Jordan, if I’d have known, I would have done something. You know that.”
I exhale, heavily. “Yeah, I know. I just … god, I don’t know what to do – how to tell her.”
How am I going to tell the girl I’m in love with that her mother – who left her to be raised by that monster of a man – raised me instead of her?
She’ll blame me. I’m going to lose her.
I feel physically sick at the thought.
“Just tell her the truth. Exactly as I’ve told you.”
I scrub my hand over my face. “She won’t be able to get past this. She’s going to blame me. I’m going to lose her.”
“No, you won’t,” he states vehemently.
“Belle left her with him and chose to raise me instead. I know if it were me, it would kill me.”
“Jordan, this isn’t your fault. I’ll come home. I’ll explain it to her—”
“No.” I pull in a deep breath. “She needs to hear this from me.”
“You’re sure?”
No. “Yes. I’ll tell her.”
“Okay. You know Mia best. Call me when you’ve talked to her. Let me know how she’s doing?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Jordan?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s going to be fine, son. I promise.”
I swallow past the burning in my throat, wishing I could be as confident as he is.
“I’ll call you later.” I hang up the phone, dropping it to the table with a clatter, I let my head follow.
A minute later I hear the backdoor open.
“Hey, you okay?” Mia’s soft sweet voice carries through the room, hitting me with a pure agony.
I lift my head, turning to her. The warm smile on her face instantly disappears, turning to worry at my expression.
“Jordan – is everything okay?” She moves quickly toward me.
“I–” The words stick in my throat, and start to sink fast … fast like rocks in water.
“Jordan?”
Oh god. I can’t tell her.
I can’t.
I get to my feet and take her beautiful face in my hands, forcing a smile onto my deceitful mouth.
“Everything’s fine, babe.”