And I’m greeted by the sight of Forbes in bed, having sex with a girl – who isn’t me, obviously.
I can’t really say what I feel in this moment. There’s such a myriad of emotions streaming through me, but I do know the one emotion I feel with absolute certainty is relief. In what context I’m just not sure.
Funny.
Oliver dies, I feel relief.
Forbes cheats, I feel relief.
Not really the natural feeling one should have in these kind of situations.
Does this mean I’m free of Forbes?
The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. Of all the things I could say to him at this moment in time, that is the one thing I want to ask most.
It takes Forbes a moment to see me standing here in his doorway as he’s too busy getting his rocks off. The surprise is evident on his face, but it quickly morphs into the cold, blank expression I’m familiar with.
The girl is facing away from me. All I can see is a mass of brown hair curtaining her face as she is on her hands and knees being screwed from behind by my boyfriend.
She has no clue I’m here, watching, feeling utterly emotionless by the whole thing
And Forbes says nothing. Just holds my eye as he continues to have sex with her.
“Yes, God! Forbes!” she screams out, making me jump. Forbes actually smiles.
“Harder! Fuck me harder!”
She really does seem to be enjoying herself. More than I ever have with him. Maybe that’s why he hits me. Maybe I don’t do sex right. He was my first. Has been my only.
“Yes! Right there!” she continues to scream.
You’d think he’d stop and try some lame attempt of It’s not what you think, Mia.
But he doesn’t say a thing.
Then again, you’d think I’d say something; any normal girl would if she caught her boyfriend cheating on her. She’d probably be the one screaming right now.
But then Forbes and I don’t exactly do normal.
He has all the power, and I’m just dragged along for the ride.
Continuing to have sex with this girl, and keeping his eyes on me, his smile changes to a smirk. Then a fire ignites in his eyes. It’s new. I’ve never seen this look on him before, but then I’ve never seen him having sex with someone else before either.
But there’s something in the way he’s looking at me right now that terrifies me. He looks empowered, like he’s finally got me exactly where he wants me.
Chills creep down my spine like spiders.
“Oh god, I’m coming! I’m coming!” the girl screams, totally unaware of what is transpiring right now between Forbes and I.
Leave Mia, now. Go!
Tearing my gaze from his. I take one step back. Two. And then I’m gone, fleeing down the stairs and out of there.
I toss my bag into the foot-well and I’m back in my car, driving away.
Vision blurred, I wipe my eyes and realize that I’m crying.
Why? I’m not entirely sure.
***
I drive to a convenience store, park my car way in the back, go in and buy as much food as I can carry in my arms. Potato chips, candy, cookies, ice-cream – anything I can lay my hands on.
I get back in my car, open up the food and start eating like I always do. Eating is probably too nice a word for what I’m doing – I’m gorging.
When I’m done, the feeling of my stomach tight and bursting, relief momentarily fills me. Then I look around at the empty wrappers and containers and the sick, dirty, guilt feeling washes over me.
I stuff the wrappers in the bag and look around at the lot. There’s no one around, so I walk toward the trash can and dump the bag in it. Then I skirt quickly to the cluster of trees by the edge of the store and hide myself from view as I brace my hand against one of them. I push my fingers down my throat, emptying my stomach.
I get back in my car, clean my hands on a wipe, and put a breath mint in my mouth.
Finally feeling in control of my emotions, I start my car and head for home.
I don’t know Forbes is there waiting as his car isn’t parked up front—maybe that was the point; he always likes to have the upper hand. When I see him under the alcove by my door, I try to run, but he grabs my arm, dragging me back. “Oh no, you don’t.”
I can smell perfume on him.
And sex.
The sex I just saw him having.
He didn’t even shower.
Just finished screwing his bit on the side and came over here. Or maybe I’m his bit on the side. Maybe she’s his girlfriend.
Forbes yanks my keys from my hand and unlocks the door. He pushes me into my apartment.
I stumble, but quickly correct my footing. For some reason, in this moment, it’s important to me that I don’t fall in front of him.
Moving back, I press up against the back of the sofa and grip the top of it with my hands.