Dozer climbs down from the bed, standing by Dad’s legs.
“Just think about it. You’ve nothing to lose by reaching out to her. Write and tell her everything she doesn’t think she wants to hear, but needs to. Tell her how you feel.”
“Basically make a fool of myself.”
“Men generally are fools in love.”
“Yeah, well I’d definitely look a fool if I send her a lame ass mix-tape.” I know I’m stepping out of line and he doesn’t deserve it, but I’m feeling bitter and angry, and I don’t want to be alone in my pain.
“Well, I think it’d be a mixed CD for you, son, or even an iPod if you’re feeling flashy, as they don’t make tapes anymore.”
I give him a look and a grunt.
Yeah, I’ve turned back into a fully-fledged teenager.
“Look, son, all I’m saying is, music can evokes memories and feelings. It can enhance those words you write to her. It’s just knowing which memories you want to trigger, what words you want her to hear, and which song will do that for you.”
He leaves my room with Dozer, his words lingering long after he’s gone.
***
Day three: post-Mia…
“Jeez … you’re listening to Damien Rice. This is worse than I thought.” Beth drops down onto my bed beside me.
“Can’t you people just leave me the fuck alone?” I pull the duvet over my head.
Beth pulls it off and sniffs the air. “It smells really bad in here, did you know?”
“I’ve been told.”
“I don’t think its Dozer.” She leans over and sniffs me. “Jesus Christ! It’s you – you smelly bastard! When was the last time you showered, or brushed your teeth?”
“At three o’ fuck off a clock.”
“Funny.” She pokes me in the back. “So to what extent am I going to have to annoy you to get you out of this bed and into the shower? Or at least get you to visit with a toothbrush?”
“You’re already annoying me and it doesn’t look like I’m moving, does it?”
“Come on, stinky breath.” She tickles my side.
I push her hand off. “Beth, seriously, knock it off. I’m not in the mood.”
Her silence has me feeling guilty. “Look … I’m just not up for company right now.”
“But I brought your favorite pie – Key Lime.” I can practically see her pout from here. “And some movies with tons of action, killing bad guys, all that gory type shit you like. I even think a chick gets blown up in one, or at the very least she gets her ass kicked.”
I twist my neck to look at her. “Watching a chick get her ass kicked? That’s how you intend on cheering me up?”
“Hey, I’m no expert. I’m just doing what my best friend did for me a few years ago when my heart got ripped in two.”
I roll onto my back and look at her, remembering how I sat in Beth’s room with her for a day and a half straight after that bitch Monica Teller had broken her heart.
Beth was crazy about her—kind of how I am for Mia.
And that bitch Monica told Beth she was in it with her too, wanted to be with her, but when it came down to it, she was too chicken shit to tell her religious folks that she was a lesbian, so she dumped Beth and married the douche they wanted her to marry.
Beth cried for a week straight after Monica got married.
And now she’s here, trying to help me like I did for her.
I feel a pang in my chest for my best friend. Sitting up, I take her face in my hands and kiss her forehead. “Thanks, Beth.”
“Eww! At least use mouthwash or something before you kiss me. I could catch cooties from that days old breath!”
I chuckle, climbing from the bed and turn my iPod off, silencing Damien Rice.
“Get the bitch ass-kicking movie ready while I take a shower.” Reaching the bathroom door, I pull my t-shirt off and toss it in the laundry basket.
“Beth?”
“Hmm.”
“You know how much you mean to me, right? That you’re not just my best friend, you’re like my sister?”
She glances at me, smiling. “Are you getting all emotional on me, Matthews?”
I shrug. “Maybe. A little. I just wanted you to know that I love you is all.” I close the door on her shocked expression.
Beth knows I love her, I’ve just never told her before now. It felt good to say, and kind of awesome to see the happy it put on her face.
I make a mental note to tell her more often from here on now.
I guess I have Mia to thank for opening this up in me. She got me feeling again … maybe more than ever before.
***
“I thought there was no romance in this movie?” I complain, licking the pie off my fingers.