“What made you suspect Pooka?”
“Becker just had this feeling about Pooka. He spent more time with him than I did, and he thought he was creepy. And then when the lock got changed the second time, Becker was convinced there was something bad going on. When he disappeared I figured either he was afraid of Pooka or Pooka did something to him.”
“Let’s do it,” Lula said. “Let’s scope this place out.”
I didn’t totally share her enthusiasm. I was a teensy worried that there’d be fleas jumping around and they’d be shot full of bubonic plague. I was willing to peek inside and see if anybody was home, but at the first sign of a flea I was turning the project over to the hazmat team.
We trudged up to the second floor and knocked on Pooka’s door. No answer. The door was locked.
“Doesn’t look like much of a lock,” Lula said.
She took a screwdriver out of her purse, inserted it into the lock, hit the screwdriver with the butt of her gun, and the door popped open.
We cautiously looked inside.
“Yoo-hoo,” Lula called. “Anybody home?”
Nothing. We crept in and moved through the rooms. I didn’t see any fleas. Not on the floor. Not in aquariums. The aquariums were all gone. No blood or mice in the refrigerator. No dead rats in the sink.
“I don’t think he’s coming back,” Lula said. “On account of he cleaned up. He’s got one of those bags that you see in the hospital holding blood and shit and it’s empty and in the garbage. It’s got writing on it. It says Yersinia pestis. Is that someone’s name?”
I googled it on my iPhone. It was the bacteria responsible for bubonic plague.
“Don’t touch it,” I said. “Everyone out. Now. Don’t stop until you’re on the sidewalk.”
I stomped my feet and checked myself over to make sure I didn’t have any fleas on me, and I called Morelli.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” I said. “I know it’s Sunday, and you’re not feeling great, but I think you’ll want to see this. And bring a hazmat suit.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
I gave him the address and told him about the empty bag in the garbage.
“I feel itchy all over,” Lula said. “I think I got a flea on me. And what if he’s got some of that Yersinia stuff in him? That can’t be good, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It wouldn’t be good.”
“Of course I just came from church, so I might still have some holy protection.”
Gobbles wasn’t saying anything. He had a grim set to his mouth, and I knew he had it figured out.
“There are going to be police here,” I said to Gobbles. “You might want to go home or wherever it is that you go.”
“You’ll call me?”
“As soon as I know something.”
“So let me see if I got this put together right,” Lula said. “Pooka was making fleas, and he was gonna shoot them off in the fireworks. And then all the people at homecoming would get fleas dropped on them, and the fleas might be infected with this Yersinia. Which we don’t want to have, either.”
“Right.”
“And just exactly what is this Yersinia?” She tapped it into her phone. “Plague!” she yelled. “It’s freaking plague. It’s the black death. Do you know what this shit does to you? It gives you boo-boos. And then your fingers and toes turn black and fall off. Good thing I don’t have a dick. Imagine what it could do to that!” She kicked her shoes off and looked at her toes. “I see a flea. I got a flea on me. Shoot it. Burn it. Somebody do something.”
I looked down at her feet. “I don’t see any fleas.”
“What’s that on my big toe?”
“It looks like a wart.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot. I have to go home,” Lula said. “I’m gonna take a shower and boil all my clothes. If I leave can you catch a ride with Morelli?”
“No problem.”
•••
I was alone when Morelli pulled to the curb.
“I have a hazmat team on the way,” he said. “Do you know if anyone’s in the house?”
“I haven’t seen anyone. I have a description of Pooka’s van but no license plate number. You probably want to sift through his office in the science building.”
A patrol car arrived and parked beside Morelli’s SUV, and Morelli gave the uniform instructions to secure the second-floor apartment but not go in.
“We don’t want this broadcast on the evening news,” Morelli said. “Who knows about this besides you?”
“Gobbles. And he’s not going to say anything. And Lula. She just went home to boil her clothes.”