Tricky Twenty-Two(34)

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Blatzo lived in a hard-times, drug-infested neighborhood of dingy little cinder block houses squatting on blighted, neglected lots. Junker cars and rusted-out refrigerators were left to linger in the front yards. Rats served as target practice in the backyards. The best you could say about Blatzo’s street was that it was free of the gangbangers who lived on Stark. Here the gangbangers only stopped by occasionally to visit the meth lab that flourished two doors down from Blatzo’s.

I idled in front of Blatzo’s house, and Lula and I looked up and down the street.

“Don’t look like anybody’s home,” Lula said. “No lights on. No car in the driveway. Weeds don’t look trampled. No cats sitting on the stoop. Are we sure Blatzo is still living here?”

“According to Connie. His name is on the lease as a renter, and someone is paying the rent.”

“Are you gonna go look around?”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“Well, you could think about how you’re gonna do it all by yourself because I’m not walking out in that yard. There’s snakes.”

Lula had a point. Hard to tell what was living in the tall weeds and trash.

“There’s a path to the house,” I said. “I’m going to knock on the front door.”

“Are you nuts? What are you gonna do after you knock? What if he answers?”

“If he answers I’ll cuff him.”

“The man is six foot tall, probably weighs as much as a Volkswagen, and eats raw meat.”

I got out of the car and tucked cuffs into my right back pocket and pepper spray into the left.

“Do you have a gun?” Lula asked.

“I have a stun gun.”

“Does it work?”

I took the stun gun out of my bag and turned it on. “Yep,” I said. “It’s charged.”

“I got another one of those feelings,” Lula said. “It’s a premonition of disaster.”

“Chances of Blatzo being in the house are minuscule,” I said. “I’m going to knock on the door. No one will answer. Case closed.”

“I like that thinking,” Lula said. “That makes sense. I could even take a video with my cellphone to show Vinnie we did something.”

I squared my shoulders, tipped my chin up, and marched across the street to the house. Lula got out of the Buick and started filming. I got halfway up the path to the front door, eyes on the prize, and I stepped on a snake. I shrieked and jumped. The snake slid away into the weeds. And I ran back to the car.

“Should I stop filming?” Lula asked.

“Yes. Get into the car.”

I retraced my route to Broad and parked in front of the hardware store. I went into the store, bought high rubber boots, and drove back to Blatzo’s house.

“I don’t know if those boots are snake-proof,” Lula said. “What if you come on a snake with big fangs? Or a jumping snake?”

I got out of the car and put the boots on. “This time I’ll watch where I’m walking.”

“Do you want me to film?”

“I don’t care.”

“You sound cranky,” Lula said.

“I’m a little stressed.”

“You’ll feel better after the pizza party.”

“The pizza party isn’t for us.”

“Yeah, but there might be some left over. Wouldn’t want to waste good pizza.”

I stomped off in my big boots. Across the street, up the path, onto the small stoop. I rang the bell, the door opened, a big hairy hand reached out, grabbed me by my shirt front, and dragged me into the house. The door slammed shut and I blinked up at Blatzo.

“Ernest?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“You n-n-need to come with me. You’re in violation of your bond.”

“I don’t feel like doing that. You know what I feel like doing?”

Oh crap. He was going to rape me and chop me up into tiny pieces for his cats.

“I feel like having a party,” he said. “Just you and me.”

“Yeah, that would be good. We’ll have a party after we check you in with the court.”

“We’ll have a party now.”

He still had my shirt in his fist, and when he said now he jerked me off my feet and slammed me against the wall.

I yanked the stun gun out of my pocket, pressed the go button, and rammed the prongs against his neck.

His eyes lost focus for a split second but there was no further reaction.

“I don’t like that,” he said. “That’s not a nice thing to do to a man who invites you to a party.”

I kicked out at him, and he backhanded me across the face.

The front door opened, and Lula stuck her head in. “Everything going okay in here?”