Trembling(54)

"Jesus Christ!" Jason exclaimed. "You know I'd never do that."



"I used to think you'd never say I was paranoid and delusional too," I spat out. "I used to think you'd never run off without telling me where you're going and come home covered in blood, too stunned to speak. I used to think all kinds of things about you, Jason Wodden. Now I'm not sure if I even know you."



Jason rolled his eyes. "Screw this," he said. "I can't take this right now." He turned away from me and made his way into the crowd. Lilith started to follow him, but I darted forward and caught her by the arm.



"No," I said. "You don't go with him. There's no way I'm letting you go off with him now."



"You can't control Jason, you know," she said. "He's a big boy. He can do what he wants."



"Yeah?" I said. "Well, he's not doing you. Not on my watch." I started for the door to the house, pulling Lilith with me. "You're coming with me," I said. "We're going to go talk to Hallam. We'll see what he thinks about this."



Lilith struggled, but she walked with me. "I'm not going anywhere with you," she said. "You're going nuts. You're losing it Azazel. None of this is real. You realize that don't you? You're paranoid. Can't you see that you're paranoid?"



"Maybe if I'd been a little more paranoid in Bramford, none of that shit would have happened," I retorted.



I pulled her out the door and onto the porch. Once in the muggy night air, she wrenched her arm out of my grip.



"Don't fool yourself, Azazel," said Lilith. "You didn't have any control over what happened to you in Bramford, just like you don't have any control over what's happening to you now. You're Azazel. The Vessel. The girlfriend of Jason. You're never going to get to choose what you want. Don't you realize that?"



"What are you talking about?" I said. Because it almost sounded to me like she was admitting that I was right. She was a Satanist. She was controlling my destiny. "I know everything that's going on here. I can stop what's going on."



"Well," said another voice, "not everything."



I whirled, looking for the person who owned the voice.



And I couldn't believe my eyes. Walking across the lawn to Rachel Kline's house were my two older brothers, Noah and Gordon. I hadn't seen the two of them since the ritual in Bramford, back in October.



"Noah?" I gasped. "Gordon?" I looked at Lilith. "Why are they here?"



But she looked just as surprised as I did. "I don't . . ." She shook her head.



Noah and Gordon stopped in front of us, both grinning. Noah jammed his hands into his pockets. Gordon rubbed his chin. When I'd spoken to Chance earlier in the week, he'd said that they'd been planning to visit me. Was this that visit?



"Hey Zaza," said Noah.



"Lil' sis," said Gordon.



Suddenly, everything clicked into place. "Oh," I murmured, covering my mouth with my hand. "It was you two. You two stole the bell and performed the ritual."



Noah shrugged. "Well, yeah. After what happened to Mom and Dad, you didn't expect us to just give up, did you?"



"Gotta say, though, we're kind of disappointed in you, Zaza," said Gordon. "You really haven't been living up to your potential. Why couldn't you have just cooperated in October and saved us all this trouble?"



I shook my head. "So, you've been working with Michaela Weem or something?"



"She was really shaken up when she saw the two of you in Shiloh," said Noah. "The things she said she saw . . . Seriously, Zaza. Don't you know that you should get your big brothers' approval before you start dating someone?"



"We don't like this Jason guy at all. He's bad, bad news," said Gordon.



"I'm never going to kill him," I said. "You two must understand that."



They shrugged. "There's some stuff we want to show you," said Gordon.



"You might change your mind," said Noah.



"Never," I said.



"Still," said Gordon, "we'd like you to come with us."



"No way," I said. "You two helped. You two tried to set me up to get raped by Toby. I don't trust you. I don't care if you are my brothers."



"You're talking like you have a choice," said Noah.



Damn it. What did that mean? "So you're going to take me by force?" I asked. Where was a gun when I needed it?



"If we have to," said Noah.



"It would be easier if we didn't have to do that," said Gordon. "You could just come voluntarily."