"I . . ."
"You know," said Lilith in her seductive voice, "I used to be very, um, frustrated myself. I guess I thought that guys would know how to please me without me telling them anything."
"And they didn't?" Jason sounded concerned.
"The female body is a mysterious thing to men," Lilith said, her voice going breathy. "There's no way they could have fully understood what it was I needed."
"Oh."
"You think you understand what women need?"
"I . . . well . . ."
"It's okay. It's not your fault. Someone needs to show you."
Show him?
And then it was quiet.
My heart raced. What was going on? Why weren't they talking? What was Lilith doing? And why couldn't I move?
I fought with myself. Fought against the images that were flashing through my mind. Images of Lilith and Jason, just a few rooms away. They were sitting on the couch, probably. Was she close? How close was she? What could she possibly be showing him?
I could think of several possibilities. All of them made me sick to my stomach.
I needed to get up. Throw aside the covers on my bed. Jam my feet into slippers. Tear into the living room. Scream at them to stop.
But try as I might, I couldn’t will my body to move.
Chapter Nine
aird92 (07:22:43): idk i think it might be working. she and jason seem to be fighting a lot.
michaela666 (07:22:55): fighting isn't enough, and you know it. we need to step in. There's a lot at stake here. We can't risk things going wrong.
aird92 (07:23:12): is there really that much of a rush? couldnt we give it like another week or so?
michaela666 (07:23:32): Absolutely not. And by the way, are you getting enough to eat?
aird92 (07:23:40): geez. im not answering that
Finally, I heard Jason's voice.
"Lilith, what are you doing?" he said. He sounded embarrassed. He sounded guilty.
Oh God, what had just happened?
Lilith didn't say anything.
"You know I think you're very attractive," said Jason, "but I'm in love with Azazel. I don't want to . . ."
"For all you know, Azazel is banging Jude," said Lilith. "Even the score."
Even the score?!
"Azazel isn't doing anything like that," Jason said.
"Are you sure?"
"I . . ."
He wasn't sure?
"It doesn't matter," said Jason. "Whatever she did, it doesn't matter. She's all I want."
"You'd stay with her if she was sleeping with someone else?" Lilith demanded.
"I'd stay with her if she was the devil incarnate. I can't be without her. She's everything to me. Without her, I don't know if I can exist."
My heart swelled. I felt the same way. And it was good, because I wasn't cheating on Jason, and I never would. But we were going to be okay. Because he loved me, and I loved him. And no matter what happened, we'd always have that. And that was all that mattered.
And then, I could move! Finally. I burst out of my room, making as much noise as I could. When I appeared in the living room, I saw Lilith sitting on the couch. Jason was standing on the opposite side of the room from her, his hands thrust into his pockets. He was staring at the carpet.
I looked at the both of them.
Lilith smiled at me. "Hi, Zaza," she said.
"I don't want you to stay here anymore," I said to her.
She raised her eyebrows.
"God," I said. "What is it with you and my boyfriends, anyway? There are thousands of men on earth. Pick someone else for Christ's sake."
Jason snorted.
I turned to look at him. "What?" I said.
"Nothing," he said, "it's just funny that when it's about me, Toby means nothing to you, but when it's about Lilith, he's still important."
I felt hurt. Jason had just said that he couldn't exist without me, but was angry with me. About Toby. About Jude. "He's not important," I said.
Jason shrugged. "I don't know what to think anymore," he said.
"You just said I was everything to you," I said.
"Were you eavesdropping?," said Jason.
"I heard you two talking," I said. "I wasn't eavesdropping."
"How much did you hear?" said Jason. "If you heard us, why didn't you come into the room? Why did you wait in there and listen?"
"Lilith shows up and suddenly you're hanging with her twenty-four/seven," I said. "She takes you to parties. You guys go out drinking. Whenever I ask you to go out—"
"You don't ask me, Azazel," Jason interrupted. "You call me plastered from the party and ask me to pick you up. You don't want me to come along."