Still fully clothed, he collapsed on the crumpled bed and at long last found the sleep that had eluded him. He felt almost human when he woke several hours later. It was still light out-so he wasn't late for the show-and soon he realized that it was his rumbling stomach that had woken him. When had he last eaten? Sometime the day before. When he'd grilled burgers and brats for Julie and Amanda, he realized. Thinking of that happy time felt surreal. Had his world really been perfect just yesterday? He felt like he'd lost her a lifetime ago.
Shoving thoughts of Amanda aside-seriously, fuck her-he ordered room service and jumped into the shower while he waited for his food to arrive.
As water cascaded over his head and dripped from his jaw and the tip of his nose, he closed his eyes and tried to chase thoughts of Amanda from his head again. He didn't want to think about her or picture her floating topless in his pool. He sure as hell didn't want to continue to lust after her. He'd heard that absence made the heart grow fonder, but he was sure his dick would soon have other ideas. His need for her would diminish with time. Hopefully, real soon. How could he live with a huge achy hole in his chest where his heart had once beat strong and proud?
He was slipping into his leather pants when a knock sounded on the door. "Room service," a woman called from the corridor.
He tucked his dick against his thigh, careful not to catch his bare skin as he zipped his fly, and went to the door shirtless. The young woman's friendly smile was immediately replaced by slack-jawed gawking as her gaze roamed his exposed flesh. The dishes on the tray she carried rattled as she slumped against the door frame.
Her eyes lifted to meet his gaze, and he realized he wasn't wearing his sunglasses. He quickly turned to remedy that oversight and swore the woman gasped the second his backside came into view. Normally he'd have used her obvious attraction to him to his advantage-he was confident that getting the raven-haired beauty naked between the sheets wouldn't have been a challenge-but he honestly wasn't in the mood.
"Just set it on the desk," he said, sliding his shades into place and reaching for his wallet to offer the server a tip. It was apparent that she wanted more than a twenty when her hand touched the small of his back.
"If you'd like some company, it's time for my dinner break," she said.
Would he like some company? The image of Amanda laughing while sitting across the table from him entered his thoughts. That was the kind of company he wanted-the easy camaraderie and inside jokes, the warmth that glowed in his chest from being with her, and the knowledge that she liked him for himself and not because he was famous. But he'd been so wrong. So, so wrong. She didn't like him. She had never loved him. She thought he was stupid, and he must be if he thought what they'd had could have amounted to anything. He'd never share those simple moments with her again. So maybe losing himself between the thighs of some other woman-one who would never matter to him-would soothe the ache in his chest that was suddenly climbing his throat and making his eyes sting.
Shade turned, took the young woman by the upper arms, and gazed into her eyes. Her breath caught and her body immediately went soft and submissive.
He could practically hear her thoughts. Oh God, this is going to happen. I'm going to fuck Shade Silverton. I can't wait to tell all my friends and my future grandchildren. It was obvious she knew who he was and that was why she was offering herself as company.
He turned her toward the door and gave her a little shove so that she couldn't mistake his disinterest. "Show yourself out," he said, his voice taking on an authoritative edge. "And put out the Do Not Disturb sign. I'm not in the mood to be bothered by the help."
She practically sprinted to the door, and just before she slammed it, she shouted, "You're an asshole."
Her words had no effect on his feelings. She wasn't the first woman to call him that and he knew she wouldn't be the last. Shade knew he was an asshole. It made his life a whole lot easier.
As she hadn't followed his instructions, he went to the door and hung the Do Not Disturb sign. After closing the door, he flopped into the chair at the desk and uncovered his plate. Maybe his mood would lighten if he ate. Something needed to blow away the dark cloud brewing over his head. Sex was obviously out of the question.
While he shoveled rice into his mouth, his cellphone chimed when a new text message was delivered. His first thought was that it was from Amanda, so he scrambled after the device. The message and a whole string of others he'd missed either while sleeping or in the shower weren't from Amanda. They were from Tina. His heart sank with disappointment, and he blew out a long breath before having his phone read the messages to him.