"Most of it," Shade admitted. Until last night, it had been one of the best weekends of his life. It had ended as one of his worst. "Where's Gabe?" Kellen and Adam had stayed behind in New Orleans, and he guessed that Owen had ditched Lindsey at his mom's house, but the plane was still emptier than it should have been.
Owen shrugged. "The pilot said he flew back last night. I have no idea why."
That was odd.
Shade didn't have time to fire off a text to Gabe asking him what was up before the scratchy voice of the pilot came over the intercom to remind them to turn off their devices during takeoff and that they were a few minutes behind schedule.
Owen grunted. "Well, I'm in the dog house, but-"
"I'm going to catch a nap," Shade interrupted. He wasn't in the mood to chat. And he was tired. There were no reminders of Amanda on the plane, so maybe he could actually sleep.
"Uh, okay," Owen said. "I wonder what Kelly's up to."
Owen apparently needed a friend at the moment, but Shade couldn't force himself to be that for him. Not now. He was sure Owen was feeling lost without the ever-present Kellen at his side, but Shade had his own shit to deal with. Or not deal with. Whatever.
Shade tried sorting through his thoughts while he feigned sleep and Owen played some loud shooter game on a handheld device. No matter which rabbit hole he went down trying to figure out how Amanda's feelings for him could do a one-eighty in less than an hour, he could only come to one conclusion: she'd finally figured out that he wasn't good enough for her.
His conclusion was as depressing as it was infuriating.
So much for catching some much-needed sleep.
By the time the plane landed in New Orleans, he was ready to get back to the life he understood. The life he lived for. Life on the road.
It wasn't hard to compartmentalize when his home life and his professional life were completely different. Here with his band he was Shade-badass egomaniac with the world at his feet. If not for Julie, he'd never leave this part of his life behind. This part of his life came easy. It made sense to him. If someone insulted him or tried to hurt him, he brushed it off. He was untouchable. Unreachable. He didn't give a fuck.
But he'd allowed himself to be vulnerable with Amanda. Let himself be Jacob-the sensitive, weak idiot he resented now more than ever. From now on, Shade would let that guy out for Julie and only Julie, but he'd never allow another woman see the Jacob part of him again. Jacob got his heart broken too easily. Shade didn't have time for heartache. Or for love.
"Adam has our room keys," Owen said when they exited the limo. Shade had almost forgotten Owen was even there.
"Okay, cool," Shade said. He tossed his bag over his shoulder and strode confidently into the hotel lobby.
Several women-and a couple of men-stopped what they were doing to gawk. He was used to people staring. He wore his confidence like a Kevlar vest. It had taken a few hits courtesy of one pretty schoolteacher from Austin, Texas, but he'd get over it. Hell, he was already over it. Over her. Fuck her. He didn't need her. He was much better off without her.
Liar, a little voice whispered to him.
He and Owen were directed to Adam's room by a gushing hotel clerk at the front desk. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't stop talking. It's you, it's really you. I saw Adam Taylor and Force Banner go through the lobby a couple of times this weekend. But Shade Silverton?" She fanned her flushed face with both hands.
"And Tags," Owen said, shaking the dog tags around his neck at her.
She spared Owen a sideways glance before focusing on Shade again. "This is totally unprofessional of me, but could I get a picture with you?"
"Now?" Shade asked. "I'm in a hurry."
He couldn't help but chuckle when instead of going through the back and circling around the chest-high reception counter, the woman hiked up her uniform skirt and climbed over the top so as not to inconvenience him. Owen rescued her from falling flat on her face.
She thanked Owen briefly before plastering herself to Shade's side and holding her smartphone in front of them. Shade put on his fan-friendly face and waited for her to snap several pictures. But she eventually handed the device to Owen because she couldn't get a clear shot to come out.
"And one with you too," she said to Owen. Apparently his dejected-puppy look had finally gotten through to her.
After she was satisfied with her photos and had forced Shade to give her an inappropriately long hug, which involved more than one hand on his ass, she allowed him to escape. Owen trudged after him.