Hesitating, trying to figure out what to do, Zara gave in and pushed the door wider. Turning on her socked feet, she headed into the living room. The door closed behind her, but she kept her back to the doorway because right now she couldn’t even face him. If he wanted to talk, he was more than welcome to do so, but Zara didn’t know if she had the strength to face him head-on.
So much for that fight she’d geared up for. Just seeing him, hearing that sultry voice thrust her back into the sorrowful stage.
“Why are you here?” she asked, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Haven’t we said enough?”
“Are you going to look at me?”
Swallowing, Zara shook her head. “No.”
“Fair enough.”
Braden’s footsteps shuffled behind her, and she braced herself for his touch, but it never came. Still, the hairs on her neck stood on end. He was close, definitely within reaching distance, yet he didn’t reach for her.
“There’s nothing I can say to undo what I did.”
Yeah, he was so close, she could feel the warmth of his breath when he spoke. He wasn’t going to make this easy on her.
“When my father was in the hospital, the doctors weren’t sure if he’d make it through the heart surgery. Dad knew, though. He knew the outcome. I could tell by the way he took my hand, asked me to find these scrolls no matter what.”
Zara bit her lip to keep it from trembling. Braden’s words, thick with emotion, were killing her. He did all of this for his family, the family he loved and a family that stood together through life’s trials. Even though she didn’t have this type of bond, she was starting to see just how important it was, and maybe Braden had been put in a rough place, torn between what he wanted and what he was bound to.
“I knew I was next in line to be in charge of everything, legal or otherwise.” Braden laughed. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever become this close to. That scares the hell out of me, Zara. My family is... We have secrets. To know you have that much power over me, to know that at any moment you could turn on me and ruin my family if you knew everything. I’m willing to risk it. That alone tells me how much I love you.”
Zara whipped around, but Braden held a finger over her lips.
“I’m not done,” he told her. “I saw how hard my dad searched for these scrolls. We believed they were still here, somewhere. We recovered an old trunk that had been here, but it proved to be a dead end a couple months ago. But when he died, I vowed to honor his wishes, to be head of the family and someone he’d be proud of. I made it my mission to find them, no matter the cost. And I knew I had to start with your home.”
His hand slid from her lips, and she had to stop herself from licking where he’d touched. She was still reeling from his confession of love. Did he mean those words? Or was he just sorry he’d actually lost at something? The scrolls...and her.
“I knew a young woman lived here, and once I found out your profession, I knew it would be easy to meet you. Everything after that fell into place so fast...”
Braden shook his head, ran a hand over his face. The stubble on his cheeks rasped against his palm. He shut his eyes for the briefest of moments before opening them. Closing the miniscule gap between them, Braden placed his hands on her shoulders.
“If I’d know how fast, how hard I was going to fall for you, I would’ve done things differently. But the past is something even I’m not powerful enough to change. All I can do is promise you I won’t lie to you again.”
Zara wanted to be tough, to step away from his touch, but she couldn’t bring herself to move.
“What makes you think I’ll believe anything you’re saying?” she asked, surprised her voice came out stronger than she actually felt. “Maybe you’re just upset that you didn’t find the scrolls. Maybe you still need me for this house, and you want my trust back for that reason alone.”
“If I wanted this house searched tomorrow, it would be done without you knowing about it.”
Zara knew he was telling the truth. And yet, he hadn’t sent Ryker when she’d been at Braden’s house. That had to count for something...didn’t it?
“Right now, all I care about is you,” he went on. “I’ve never begged for anything in my life. I’ve never had to. Damn it, Zara. I have no idea what to do to get you back. I’m in territory I’ve never been before.”
His raw honesty paralleled her own. “You think this is familiar to me?” she cried. “I’ve never had a man tell me he loved me. I have no idea whether or not to believe you.”
Those powerful hands slid up to frame her face. Braden tipped her face up. She had no choice but to look him straight in the eye.
“You want to believe me,” he murmured. “You want to believe it because your feelings are so strong and you want to hold on to that happiness... A happiness only I can give you.”
Zara reached up, gripped his wrists. She wanted to pull them away, but she found herself hanging on. “I want to be done with you, Braden. I want to be over you, but I can’t just ignore what I feel. You hurt me so deep. I’ve never been cut that deep before. My parents, guys I’ve dated, I’ve always known where I stood with them. But with you, I thought I was in one place, but I wasn’t even close.”
Braden’s thumbs stroked her skin, sending her nerves into high gear. Why did he have to come back? Why couldn’t he have just let the break be clean?
“Never again,” he promised. “You’ll never wonder where you stand with me. You’re it for me, Zara. I know you have a fear of commitment, I know where we stand right now is shaky, but I’m not giving up. I want you in my life permanently.”
One second she was listening to him profess his love, his loyalty, the next she was leaning against him, kissing him. Her mouth moved over his, her hands still gripped his wrists, but she’d needed more contact, needed Braden.
When she eased back, she licked her lips and looked into his eyes. “I can’t promise you anything. All I can promise is that we work together to see where this goes. You hurt me, Braden. That’s not something I can forgive so easily.”
He nodded, sliding his thumb across her bottom lip. “I can understand that, and it’s more than I deserve. But I’m going to be patient where you’re concerned. I don’t want anyone else with me. I don’t want to spend my life with another woman, so if we have to take this slow for you to see how serious I am, then so be it.”
She hated to bring up the bone of contention between them, but she couldn’t leave it hanging in the air.
“If you want to search this house, you can.”
The muscle in Braden’s jaw ticked, his lids lowered and he let out a sigh. “I’m not doing anything with this house or the scrolls until you and I are on solid ground.”
Zara gasped. “You’re serious,” she whispered.
“I’ve never been more serious about anyone in my life.” His lips slid over hers again for a brief second. “I meant what I said about loving you. I want to fulfill my father’s wishes, but I will love you first and always.”
Zara threw her arms around his neck, the thick coat getting in her way when she really wanted to feel him without barriers. “I hated you,” she sobbed, hating how her emotions had betrayed her, and now she was an emotional wreck. “I moved my bedroom furniture around, I washed all the blankets and sheets trying to get you out of my room.”
His soft chuckle vibrated against her. “You wasted a lot of time and energy, because I’m about to take you back upstairs and make love to you.”
She eased back, swiped at her face and smiled. “Everything is still in the dryer.”
In a swift, unexpected move, Braden scooped her up into his arms and headed for the steps. “If I recall, our first time wasn’t in the bed anyway.”
Zara toyed with the ends of his hair. She didn’t care where he took her, she would go. They were starting fresh, and she knew in her heart this was meant to be. He was the man who would show her what love was, show her what loyalty and commitment were.
This was the man she’d spend the rest of her life with.
Epilogue
“Calm down, Laney. What happened?”
Zara sat up, pulling the old quilt around her as she listened to the urgency in Braden’s tone as he talked to his sister on the cell. The kitten snuggled against her side.
“Don’t go anywhere. I’m sending Ryker. He’s closer than I am.”
With a curse, he disconnected the call and punched in another number.
“Is she okay?” Zara asked.
“No.”
Braden reached around, tucking her against his side as he held the cell to his ear. The fact he was still seeking her during a family crisis only added to the promise he’d made only hours ago to keep her first in his life.
“Ryker.” Braden’s bare torso tensed as he spoke. “Go to Laney’s house. She needs you to help pack some things and get her back to my house safely. Carter cheated on her, and now he’s trying to get her to open her door. I just hung up with her, and she’s hysterical. You’re closer than I am, which means you’ll need to be nice. I’ll be home shortly and meet you guys there.”