I hear Beh’s gasp as I push slowly inside of her for the second time today. She rocks back as I enter her, easing my journey deep inside. I close my eyes, and I can feel the velvety texture of her channel as it covers me and engulfs me. I hold her hips firmly as I begin to move in and out, trying not to give into the desire to move rapidly. Moving too fast is bound to make me fill her quickly, and I want this to last a little while.
I remember my promise to myself from this morning, and I lean over her with my chest to her back, reach around and find the swollen little nub right above where I’ve entered her. Beh cries out as soon as I run my finger over it, and I feel her internal muscles clench down around my penis.
I am not expecting that.
“Hoh! Hoh!” I cry out as my hips rebel against my thoughts and thrust harder into her. A moment later, I empty myself deep inside her body.
With my forehead resting between her shoulder blades, I move slowly with shallow motions as I keep touching her spot. With my semen lubricating her inside, it is not difficult to keep thrusting inside of her, even though my penis isn’t very stiff anymore. Beh groans as she reaches back to grab the wrist of the hand that still grasps her hip. She pulls it up to her chest and pushes it firmly against her covered breast.
I’m not sure what she wants me to do, so I grip and rub her breast with the same rhythm as my fingers near her entrance. I soon feel her nipple harden through the leather and try to pull at it. Beh’s hand covers mine between her legs, and she pushes firmly against it as she pants my name-sound a few times before she hums and gasps.
Her legs shake as she cries out once more, and I release her breast so I can wrap my arm around her waist and keep her from falling to the ground. I want to do the same myself, really, but the rough sand near the lake isn’t the most comfortable place for a nap. Besides, even though I have slept in the open in the past, I have Beh to protect now. No mate of mine will ever sleep outside of our cave. It isn’t safe.
I help her stand on shaky legs and hold her tightly against me as she rests her head on my shoulder. My hands run over her back as her breathing slows. Once she has relaxed again, I help her gather up the wet furs, pick up my spear, and we head back to our cave.
As we walk across the field, still gathering the grains from the tall grasses and adding them to Beh’s shoulder basket as we go, I notice Beh seems to not be walking quite right. She is walking slower than she normally does, and looks like she is in pain as she takes a step.
I stop her in the middle of the field and look into her eyes. She is not crying and doesn’t appear upset at all. I drop the furs I am carrying and kneel down in front of her to pick up each of her feet. I can’t tell if they are injured or not with the foot coverings over them, but I poke at them anyway and watch for her reaction. She does not cry out or act as though she is in pain, though she puts her hands on her hips and starts making a lot of mouth sounds at me.
Her feet do not appear to bother her, so I move up her legs—examining them closely, but I find no injury. As I reach their apex, Beh’s noises become a little louder and she pushes my hand away. I look up to her eyes, and her head moves from side to side.
“No,” she says.
I quickly move away.
Beh sighs and takes a step forward, holding out her hand. Tentative, I place mine in hers, and she pulls me close to her. With the side of her face placed against my chest, she makes soft sounds and hugs me against her. I don’t understand but decide to watch her closely as I follow her back to the cave. I hang the furs outside so the wind will blow them dry and then fill one of Beh’s cups with water so she has something to drink.
I’m still worried about her.
Beh tries to add some wood to the fire, but I take it away from her and push her back a little. I point to the grass mat and have her sit on it while I prepare food for her.
I make sure she rests for the remainder of the day. That night, I want to put a baby in her again, but Beh pushes my hands away from her. At first I think she is angry, and I try to figure out what I did to upset her, but she runs her hands over my beard and lets me hold her as she falls asleep.
She must not be too upset with me, but I am still confused.
And hard.
I consider using my hand to make my penis feel better, but I remember how Beh wanted the furs cleaned off when I spilled on them before, and I don’t want to upset her either with messy furs or by waking her up. So I just close my eyes and try not to inhale through my nose because she smells so good. Eventually, I fall asleep beside her.
The next day, Beh’s bleeding time starts. I’m pretty sure that means there isn’t a baby inside of her yet, since I remember women in my tribe didn’t have their bleeding times when their stomachs got bigger with a baby. I’m disappointed and want to try again, but Beh won’t let me. As soon as I remove my furs and approach her, she pushes me back and uses her no sound.