Transcendence(33)

“Kiss.”

There is a tickling feeling in the back of my head—something in my mind that feels strange. I narrow my eyes a little, and I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, looking over the brink and feeling the wind in my face.

“Kiss, Ehd.”

“Beh.” I make her name-sound reflexively as I hear my own, and the sensation in the back of my head increases. I focus on her mouth as she brings us together again. I close my eyes this time, just as she does, and I feel her lips part slightly as her tongue touches my lips.

My mate is definitely strange.

And I like it.

I open my mouth and taste her and feel her tongue against mine and confirm that her teeth are indeed smooth like mine. It is a bizarrely automatic action. I never would have considered doing such a thing, but now that I feel her lips against mine and her tongue reaching into my mouth, it seems as natural as breathing. I’m captivated by the feeling—warmth and moisture, softness and pressure all at once. I feel my body shiver against hers, and my need for her grows more urgent.

I moan into her mouth.

Beh pulls back, panting, and her face is flushed. I watch her intently as her hands move to my shoulders and she tilts her chin down, still breathing hard. I keep my hand against her face and run my thumb over her cheekbone first and then her lips.

I definitely like it—lips and mouths and tongues together. When my tongue runs over my own lips, I can taste her there, and it’s as if she’s laid claim to me. I feel myself smile, and Beh returns the gesture through her blush. She makes more soft sounds, and this time I cover her mouth with my lips instead of my hand, which is very effective.

I definitely like this.

By the time she breaks away from me again, my lips feel tired from the abnormal exertion. I pull my mate tightly against my chest and try to ignore the continuing throbbing underneath my fur wrap and what it means when she will not touch me there.

She doesn’t really want me for a mate, not completely. She is willing to stay with me and work beside me, but she doesn’t want to mate. She doesn’t want me to put a baby in her.

I place my forehead to her shoulder and let out a long breath, trying to hide my sadness.



The light rain stops completely during the night, and the sun is shining brightly by the time my mate’s eyes open. I have been watching her for some time now, and I have come to the conclusion that I must do more if I am going to win her over. Even though she is here with me, and she is obviously my mate now, I want her to want it, too. I want her to open herself to me…give herself to me. After the previous night, feeling how wonderful just her mouth on mine felt, I have been plagued with thoughts of how good it would feel to have my penis inside of her.

So now I am going to do everything I can to make her happy and convince her to mate with me.

I start with breakfast.

As soon as her eyes open, I kneel beside her with fresh pieces of rabbit meat in my hand. I cooked them very slowly over the coals, and I’ve blown on them to cool them off a little because I want the temperature to be just right for her—not too cool or too hot. I stare into her eyes as she rolls over and pulls the furs up under her arms. She props herself up on one elbow and smiles up at me through blurry eyes.

Her mouth makes sounds, and I silence her with a piece of the meat. She gnaws at it slowly and seems to like it as she swallows and accepts another one from my fingers. I give her a drink of water, careful not to spill any on her, and then offer her more of the tender flesh.

Once she has eaten her fill, I hold her hand and take her outside of the cave to relieve herself. As soon as we reach the area, I let go of her hand, turn, and cover my eyes with my fingers so she knows I am not watching her. When she places her hand on my arm, I know she is done, and I smile down at her. She gives me a half smile back, but her brow is furrowed.

I wonder if I have done something wrong.

Determined, I take her back to the cave to gather up what we need for another trek to the lake. I want to check the rabbit traps I reset as well as give Beh a chance to wash, which she seems to like to do. Every time we go there, she spends some time washing herself in the water, which is beginning to warm nicely now that summer is upon us. When she goes into the water, I try not to look at her body, but it’s difficult.

I startle as Beh makes a squeaking sound when we get into the cave. I rush around her, holding my arm out to protect her from whatever has frightened her, but there is nothing there. When I look at her face, she is smiling and pointing toward the fire. I follow her finger to the little cups and plates she made from the clay and then look back up at her, confused.

Beh makes more sounds, kneels next to the fire, and holds up the little brown cup. I take it in my hand, and I am surprised at how hard it is! It’s no longer mushy and soft but feels more like a rock. The edges are rough and scratch the tips of my fingers. I turn it over and over again in my hand. Even the inside of it is dry and rigid. I look back to Beh, amazed at what she has handed to me.