For a moment, the nightmarish vision of Lah in the man’s arms as they vanished from my sight returns. My breath rushes out of me in a gasp as I think of Beh in Lah’s place…of losing her.
Before panic can overwhelm me, Beh releases Dad’s waist and walks backwards away from him. She raises her hand up with her palm facing him as she moves back to the cave. I can see her shoulders shaking in quiet sobs, and I don’t know what I should do. I want to hold her, comfort her, but the babies are taking up both of my arms, and I’m afraid to let them go.
I place myself as close to her as I can and lean my body into hers. Beh turns quickly and lifts up her arms to wrap them tightly around my head, making me lean over to her. She holds me so tight it hurts, but I don’t mind. Her face rests on my shoulder, just above Lah’s sleeping head, and she turns to watch the center of the field where the bizarre, insect-like noise grows quickly.
I try to shift Lee up on my shoulder a little better so I can at least touch Beh’s hair with my fingers as I look from her red eyes to the field. The swirling circles encompass Dad, making me dizzy as I try to follow the motion with my eyes. Beh’s tears stain her cheeks as she raises her hand to him a final time.
Then he disappears.
I hope he never returns.
With the babies still in my arms, I move around Beh and push against her gently to encourage her back to the cave. With one last look toward the field, she turns and I follow her.
Later, when the babies are settled in for the night, I wrap my arms around Beh. As soon as I do, she begins to cry again. She turns around and buries her face against my shoulder as she wraps her arms around my neck. I hold her as her quiet sobs shake both of us.
With one arm around her shoulders, I use the other to run my hand up and down her arm. I brush over a small spot on her shoulder and tilt my head a little to examine it in the firelight. It’s very small—just about the size of the tip of my smallest finger—right at the top of her arm. Just a little, rigid bump under her skin. I run my finger over it.
Beh sits back in my arms and glances at her shoulder and then to me. I see a red tinge cover her cheeks for a moment before she lays the side of her face against my chest.
“Beh loves Ehd,” she whispers softly.
“Luffs!” I call out, and look to her face for her smile.
She doesn’t have one.
“Luffs.” I repeat, and her eyes turn to me. “Beh luffs.”
She reaches up with her fingers and strokes my cheek. She makes more rapid sounds, which I can’t follow and don’t recognize, but at least she finally smiles at me.
“Khizz?”
Her smile broadens, and she leans up to place her lips upon mine as I brush the tears from her face.
Lah grows so quickly, I begin to wonder if she will catch up with Lee.
Beh laughs as Lee tries to run away from her, his tiny feet carrying him much faster than I would expect from someone so small. Lah laughs, too, and tries to keep up with her brother with her rapid crawling. Beh quickly catches first one, then the other, and brings them back to the cave for the night.
As she does most nights since Dad disappeared, Beh brings out the rectangular flat thing that opens up over and over again from the container. Each time she opens it, there is something different to be seen. Yesterday, it looked like seeds inside. Tonight, the flat part appears to be flowers, but when I try to touch them, they are just smooth and a little warm—not like flowers at all. My fingers grace over it and my eyes narrow. I shake my head a little, not understanding her fascination with a flower you can’t eat.
My mate is weird.
“Khizz?”
Beh places her mouth on mine for a moment before turning back to the flat thing. I return to ushering Lee and Lah toward the sleeping furs. There are many strange things in the container left by Beh’s father, and I try not to touch them if I can help it. Beh usually pushes my hand away when I do try.
The children are a little more difficult to get to sleep now. They want to play with each other instead of lying down and closing their eyes. It takes some foot rubbing and some time, but once Lah is asleep, Lee gets bored and follows his sister’s lead. Beh puts the flat thing back in the container and closes it before lying on the furs beside me.
I roll over on top of Beh, who covers her mouth to stop her giggle. I touch her bare sides with the backs of my fingers, and I run my nose across her shoulder, over her collarbone, and down to her breast. I continue down, and Beh fists her hands in my hair as I take her sex in my mouth. When I look up through my lashes, she is biting down on her lower lip, trying not to cry out, which makes me smile and work harder.
I feel her shudder around me, her thighs practically smashing my head before I rise up on my knees and guide myself inside of her. She’s so warm and slick inside…it is not long before I have to stifle my own cries against her shoulder to keep from waking our children.