He did nothing. He stayed there, the heat of Cody’s hand burning through his pant leg, his cock hard and aching, chafing in the confines of his jeans.
Cody stood up, moving slowly as if approaching a wary animal, and Nate supposed in a way he was. With him standing and Nate still sitting on the edge of the wagon, they were exactly the same height. Cody’s hand strayed a mere half an inch upward, and it was enough to make Nate hold his breath. He had to brace himself to keep from sliding down in his seat in order to make Cody’s hand drift higher.
Cody inched closer. “Do you want me to stop?”
No, Nate didn’t want him to stop. That was the last thing he wanted. He tried to speak, but couldn’t. All he could do was shake his head.
Cody smiled, that gorgeous, secret smile that haunted Nate’s dreams. He moved so he stood between Nate’s knees. He had one hand on each of Nate’s thighs now, and Nate’s breath caught in his throat. He shut his eyes and let the heat of Cody’s touch warm him. It tingled in his groin, up his spine, wiggling all the way to his fingertips like electricity crackling through his veins. He might have moaned, but he wasn’t sure if it actually happened or if it was all in his head, but Jesus, Cody’s touch felt good.
“Nate?” Cody’s voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. “Do you want me to touch you more?”
Just the words made Nate ache. His entire body felt weak, insubstantial, nonexistent except for the desperate need Cody had kindled in him. He made himself nod.
Cody kissed his jaw, his breath warming Nate’s cheek. And then his hands moved in tandem, up Nate’s thighs until his fingers touched Nate’s erection. Even through his jeans, it was almost enough to make Nate come. The sound he made this time was closer to a whimper than a moan. His eyes were still closed, but he knew Cody’s hands. He knew the length and shape of his fingers, and he couldn’t seem to think of anything else at all as they touched him through his pants.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” Cody asked.
And this time, Nate could talk. The word burst out of him before he had time to think. “Yes!”
Cody’s lips brushed his, and it was all Nate could do to hold still, to hold on, to keep on breathing as the tip of Cody’s tongue teased against his lips. Nate felt as if every bit of him was wavering, melting, thrumming with impatience. The gentle pressure on his erection felt like bliss, and Nate parted his lips. He grabbed Cody and pulled him closer to deepen their kiss. Cody tasted like smoke and sugar, and Nate moaned, desperate to feel more of him. He held his breath, bracing himself as Cody undid Nate’s pants and slipped his hand inside, hoping he didn’t come the minute Cody touched him.
It was a near thing. Feeling Cody’s fingers wrap around him almost sent him over the edge, but he fought back his orgasm, his breath coming in sharp little gasps. He hung on to Cody, lost in his kiss, lost in the feel of the cold air and Cody’s hand stroking him, urging him to climax. One glorious, amazing minute of feeling better than he’d ever felt, knowing this was what he’d been dreaming of all along. Nate cried out against Cody’s lips as he came.
And then it was over, so quick it made Nate dizzy. Cody moved his hand away to wipe it on his jeans, and Nate gasped, the cold wind on his wet groin suddenly feeling icy. It was like waking from a wonderful dream. Like plummeting from some great height to crash into the rocks below. He was embarrassed and ashamed and confused. He fumbled to wipe himself clean, to cover himself up. He tried to look away from the obvious bulge in Cody’s pants.
Jesus, how had he let this happen? He’d wanted to talk to Cody. He’d wanted for them to be friends again, but this . . .
“Nate?” Cody said.
Nate couldn’t face him. He covered his eyes with his hands, struggling not to cry.
“That never should have happened. Oh my God, that never should have happened!”
The silence that followed was horrible. The still, pregnant silence of hurt. The painful, awkward silence of betrayal.
“Funny,” Cody said at last. “That’s what Dusty said too.”
Even over the wind, Nate heard the swish of the grass as Cody climbed the embankment and walked away.
“How’d it go?” Logan asked Cody the next day in social studies. “Did he apologize?”
Cody chewed his lip. He didn’t want to have this conversation at all. Then again, at least Logan cared. At least Logan didn’t treat him like some kind of pariah. “Kind of.”
Logan’s smile wilted a bit. “‘Kind of’?”
Cody cleared his throat, wishing his chest wasn’t so tight, wishing there was no itch behind his eyes. Logan leaned closer, his long legs and bulky frame filling the aisle between the desks, and Cody pitched his voice low so nobody else could hear. “He asked me about all the stuff Larry told him.”