Lance expelled a breath, but he didn’t make a move to touch her. “Structures are only as strong as their foundation. If we can’t be honest with each other, what can we build on that?”
Willa let his words sink in and clasped her hands on her lap. I have to tell him. It’s time.
Oh, God, don’t let me lose him over this.
Please, give me the words that will help him understand. “I fell apart after we slept together. Lexi and I had a huge argument, unlike any we’ve ever had.” Willa’s eyes filled with tears. “She’s the only family I have, really, and I thought I’d lost her. I was devastated. I was so sad, so angry . . . I made mistakes. I did so many things I wish I could go back and undo.” Willa hesitated. He’d asked for honesty, but wasn’t that what everyone said just before they were told something that changed everything? Here goes . . . “I hated you. I blamed you because I couldn’t stay angry with Lexi and not lose her, so I hated you instead.” One tear spilled down her cheek then another. “I hated myself just as much, though. When I look back at that time, I start to unravel. Talking to you Thursday morning had me thinking about the past, and then I was falling apart on the inside again. That’s what happened in front of Clay and Dax. I let the memories get to me.” Her shoulders started to shake as she prepared to tell him the part she dreaded the most. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Lance released his seatbelt, undid hers and pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay, Willa. You don’t have to do this.”
Tucked against his strong chest, hearing his murmured words of comfort, Willa finally let her pain out. She cried for the young woman who had given him her heart and had it broken. She cried because this was exactly who she didn’t want to be with Lance. She knew his family history and how one woman’s sorrow had shaped his home life. She wanted to be happy for him. She didn’t want to lay more guilt at his door. That wasn’t the foundation she wanted their relationship built on. She hated that she couldn’t contain her sorrow. It poured out of her until she was shaken and drained.
And I haven’t even told him about the baby. She straightened, dug in her purse for a tissue, and took a deep breath. If it changed how he felt about her, at least it was out there. “Lance, I need to tell you one more thing—”
Lance laid a hand on one side of her face and covered her mouth lightly with a thumb. “No, you don’t. I understand now. You don’t have to go back to that time. Ever again. It has no power in the here and now. The last forty-eight hours have been incredible. With you. I want more of you. Say you want the same and let’s move forward. Together.”
The tenderness in his eyes hadn’t been there before, certainly not after they’d left his parents’ house. If she wasn’t completely positive that it couldn’t be true, she would have said he looked like a man who was falling in love. Wishful thinking. I need to finish the story. Just say it.
“Say it,” Lance prompted. “Say you want me as much as I want you. I don’t mean just in bed. This weekend has been incredible. My friends love you. My family loves you. I—” He stopped, then said, “I feel good when I’m with you. I don’t know where this is going, but I don’t want to give up on it.”
She could have circled back to sharing her pain, but that would have completely changed where the conversation was going. She wanted the promise of happiness he was offering. She took his hand in hers and kissed his palm before lowering it to her lap. “Me neither.”
The kiss she was rewarded with was heartbreakingly tender. When he raised his head, he asked, “Where do we go from here, Willa?”
She closed her eyes briefly. I’m a good person. Maybe not a perfect one, but surely I deserve happiness. Lexi always tells me I’m the one who holds myself back. What would happen if I just trusted that it will work out and jumped? She opened her eyes and raised them to his. “Cape Cod?”
Those two words echoed through Lance. Outwardly he was holding it together, but inside he was a wreck. Her tears had stormed through his heart like Godzilla let loose on a seaside town. There was no defense against how she made him feel. While she cried against his chest, he’d wanted to make all sorts of declarations he had no business uttering yet. He’d wanted to promise her he’d spend his life making sure she never had a reason to cry like that again. For just a few moments, forever felt possible.
Then sanity returned. They’d only actually been together a few days. He was a man who kept lunchmeat longer than most of his relationships lasted. They’d never been a priority to him.