I’m doing it right this time.
But that didn’t make it easy.
Chapter Ten
Willa was in the bathroom of her apartment applying lipstick when Lexi appeared in the doorway behind her. “Whoa. Makeup. Hair down. You look awesome. What’s the occasion?”
Beside her, Lexi ran a hand through her tangle of hair. When she did, it lifted the hem of her very short nightgown and revealed matching panties. I’ll meet Lance on the street. “I didn’t hear you come in last night.”
“I hit the sack early. I was beat. You were out late, though. I almost called you. I was worried.”
“Lex, I was fine.” Just shows how much I haven’t been living life if she is worried about one late night. Not that I ever know where she is lately. Normally Willa would feel sad by their lack of daily interaction, but that morning it actually worked to her advantage. Lance Barrington was not a topic she was ready to talk to Lexi about.
Lexi turned and half sat on the sink counter. “I hate it when we fight, Willa.”
Meeting her sister’s eyes, Willa smiled sadly, “Me, too.”
“I should have told you the flash mob was for Lance. I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, actually, I do. I hate that I messed it up for the two of you the first time, and I know you still like him. I guess I thought that if me pretending to be you didn’t work, then maybe you pretending to be me would. I know that’s fucked up.”
Willa closed her eyes briefly and gathered her scattering thoughts. Her mother’s words from long ago came back to her after one of their sister-to-sister fights. You’ll only ever have one sister, one twin, Wil. Treasure her. It didn’t need to be perfect to be good. She opened her eyes and leaned over to hug Lexi. “It is, but it’s also sweet in a way.” She thought about the last heated argument she’d had with Lexi and added, “I never meant to make you feel badly about the way you live your life.”
Lexi hugged her tightly. “Things were easier when we were younger. It was us against the world. What happened?”
Willa tensed and the hug ended. “Everyone grows up.”
After another head-to-toe assessment of Willa, Lexi said, “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Yes, there is,” Willa said firmly. “And that’s okay.” She walked out of the bathroom and Lexi followed her.
“Since when do we have secrets?”
Since longer than you know, Willa thought sadly. There was a time when Lexi would have been the first person Willa would tell about something as big as spending the day with Lance. She didn’t want the past to have a hold over the present, but in this situation it did. No matter how much she tried to tell herself that she trusted her sister, she couldn’t trust her with this. How do I make this okay? “I’m going out for the day, and I don’t really want to talk about it with you. I want this to be something that is mine. Just mine. Can you respect that?”
“Now you really have me worried. Tell me this isn’t about Clay Landon.”
That’s an easy one. “It’s not.”
“But it’s about a man, isn’t it?”
Willa gave her sister a deliberately blank look.
Lexi waved her hand in frustration. “Sure. Why tell me? I’m only your twin sister.”
With a sigh, Willa walked into the other room to find her phone and purse.
Lexi called out as she followed. “Just the one who shared a womb with you.”
“We’re not talking about this,” Willa called back. Her phone beeped with a message. Lance asked her to meet him downstairs. Thank God. Hesitating at the door, Willa looked across the living room at her sister who was watching her leave. She hated the cavernous divide between them. “I need time to figure some things out before I can share them with you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love and appreciate you, Lexi. That will never change.” With that Willa walked out of their apartment and closed the door behind her.
Lance met her at the door of her building. For just a moment everything else fell away. The navy T-shirt he’d chosen complemented his muscular chest and arms. His jeans were worn enough so they were a frequent comfort choice. The suited, formal Lance she saw even at his parents’ home was absent. It made Willa wonder, in a good way, if she knew him at all. He kissed her on the cheek in greeting, lingering briefly as if tempted to do more.
“Ready?” he asked, stepping back to look at her appreciatively.
“I am,” she answered, her mouth dry from nerves.
“You look awesome.”
“Thank you.” She almost said he did, too, but she was more cautious this time.