Missy Ann reached over and covered Eliza Grace’s hand. “Honey, you still haven’t gotten over the fact that you were attacked, nearly gang raped in college. You fought back, and those five guys didn’t succeed.”
“They almost did. They did enough, saw enough, and grabbed at me, touching me, and scared the hell out of me. I was damn lucky.”
“They suffered the consequences. They moved on with their lives and you need to move on with yours.”
“I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.”
“Are you now? Because you don’t sound happy. I think you need to start thinking about the things you’ve wanted to do but held back from doing.”
“You don’t mean like a bucket list? I’m twenty-four years old. I’m afraid of heights so sky diving or bungee jumping is not a wish of mine.”
Missy Ann chuckled. “I don’t mean anything extreme. I mean doing something that makes you happy, that excites you but also challenges you. Maybe something you were scared of doing for whatever reason but now you can overcome that fear. It doesn’t have to be huge and definitely not dangerous or your cousins and the Hayes brothers will have my ass.”
Eliza Grace laughed.
“Missy, please, you are not a negative influence in any way and my cousins like you.”
“You can really live on the wild side and do the Hayes brothers. You can pop that cherry and move on as a new, more experienced woman. Think about it, four older men in their thirties with super big hands which mean super big—”
“Missy Ann!”
“Well, it’s what I heard. You know, the whole big hands, big penises thing.”
Eliza Grace covered her face with her hands.
“Come on. You can get the experience of four lovers under your belt. That should get you over the memories from college and also the attack in your apartment and help you move on with your love life.”
She swallowed hard.
“You don’t get it. I can’t even be that close to them. When one of them is around me I get all nervous and feel like running. When two of them are around me it’s even worse. When I think about them touching me, kissing me at the same time and then about the four of them surrounding me, it’s total freak out panic attack. I can’t help but to think about college and those five guys. It was so scary. If people ignored my screams or didn’t hear them over the music, the outcome would have been horrific.”
“But they did hear your screams.”
“Then they denied it. They said I wanted it, that I led them on and came into the room with them. It was their words against mine. I’ll never forget that feeling. How the dean of the school and even the police looked at me with suspicious eyes. I was a victim and they made me feel like the perpetrator. All the while I was beaten up, my breasts exposed, my clothing ripped and had to walk past all those kids I had classes with and knew. It was a nightmare. I still have nightmares about it. How the hell could I even think of being with four men? How?” she asked with tears in her eyes. Eliza Grace felt so frustrated. She liked the Hayes brothers. She just didn’t think she was right for them. They needed an older woman, a bigger woman, and not some petite twenty-four-year-old, passive scaredy cat like her.
Her phone buzzed again.
“You’d better answer that. Something tells me that the Hayes men are not the kind of men to make angry.” She raised her eyebrows up and down and Eliza Grace snorted as she shook her head.
“Although, they could be quite sexy angry. You know, all those hard, big muscles flexing as they reprimanded you for ignoring their text messages. I bet they’re into discipline too. They probably would toss you over their knees and spank your ass.”
“Missy Ann!” Eliza Grace scolded, feeling her cheeks heat and her body react to the idea. Here she was twenty-four and a virgin, no way capable of taking on older, more experienced and lethal men like the Hayes brothers.
“Sorry. I guess my own lack of experience has me wanting to live vicariously through you. You’re so freaking lucky. The Hayes men are super sexy and hot. I mean women throw themselves at those kind of men and you have their full attention. Maybe if you tell them about what happened to you, they would take their time and ease you into the intimacy part? I bet they would. They like you so much. I can see it in their eyes. You keep pushing them away and they might just give up on you entirely.”
She thought about that and felt immediately sad. This was so frustrating. She did like them, but yet, she felt so young and inexperienced. It was a vicious cycle of her not feeling confident. She had been so confident years ago when she went off to college instead of sticking around here. Then that night happened and things changed. She changed.