He winked and then eased back and took a sip of his iced tea. Caroline sat there speechless, wondering what exactly just happened and how the hell she was going to fix it.
Chapter 4
“What are you going to do?” Shelby asked Caroline as they walked along the path that led through the park and around the entire perimeter. The path zigzagged in between the pond, the playground, and tennis courts.
“What do you mean?” Caroline replied.
“You know, about the Mantel brothers and their obvious interest in you. Come on now, Caroline, they thought you would show up at Spencer’s and then C.J. talks to you, brings you to lunch in the park, and you talked to him, practically opened up to him.”
“I don’t know. I can’t think. I can’t even make simple decisions without second-guessing them. I stood at the shopping center yesterday after working at the book fair all day and stared at the toothpaste. At the toothpaste,” Caroline exclaimed and Shelby could see the frustration on her face and sense it in her voice, too. Shelby rubbed her back as they walked.
“I know that feeling. I lived with that for the better part of a year. Just know that those feelings pass, and eventually as you push yourself to move forward, you gain more and more control of your life and the decisions you make. I can remember getting to the point, similar to where you’re at, and when I just couldn’t take not having the confidence to make small decisions. I decided that I needed to take control. This was my life, my choices, my mistakes, my achievements and failures and no one was going to have control over that and especially not Skip. It wasn’t instant, let me tell you, but small steps, and every time I did that, I got stronger, more confident, and gained more control.”
Caroline looked at her with sadness and uncertainty in her eyes.
“I’m so scared, Shelby. I analyze everything. From appearances, to comments, to conversations, to sounds.”
“Sounds?” Shelby asked.
“Yes, like if something drops, or a horn honks loudly, or even if a strong deep voice comes from behind me I cower and tighten and wait for the strike. I can’t take it,” she said and they continued to walk. Her sister wiped the tears before they would fall.
“Well, then you don’t need to get involved with anyone right now. I’m glad that I told the Mantel brothers that you weren’t interested and to leave you be. The last thing you need is more than one man trying to make you their possession. A ménage relationship is intense to say the least. You’ve seen them around town. The men are always with their woman. If not all then at least one. Where is the privacy, the alone time, the ability to feel independent?” Shelby asked and she knew she sounded angry. There was a time or two she wondered if she could let her guard down and explore feelings she had but she knew better. More than one man meant more trouble and more pain.
“I hope you weren’t mean to them,” Caroline whispered. That comment got Shelby focused on her sister again.
“Why? Are you interested in being part of a ménage?” she asked, sounding so cynical and shocked, when really that wasn’t fair at all. Every ménage relationship she knew of, including her friends Marlena and Alicia, was beautiful. It was obvious that those men loved their women and their women loved them, but they were few and far between, those men of theirs. Marlena and Alicia struck gold. Women like Shelby and Caroline struck coal. Their entire life had been a struggle surrounded by pain and heartache. That need to feel loved, appreciated, and cared for led them to choosing the wrong men. Those men, Skip and Cameron, knew they were easy prey.
“No. I’m not saying that. It’s just that, C.J. was so nice. He seemed sincere and honest. Plus he had this way of making me want to spend more time with him.”
“Listen, from what I know about them they are very nice men. But three, Caroline? Look at their sizes and their capabilities. You’re like a little peanut compared to them. Hunter was a Navy Seal or something. He could pick you up with one arm and toss you.”
Caroline bit her lower lip and the tears filled her eyes.
“I know. You don’t think I’ve thought of that? Of what strikes from hands as big as theirs might feel like? That’s something I don’t think I could get past. Besides the simpler things that definitely stand in the way of even considering a relationship with a man again.”
“Like what?” Shelby asked.
“Well, like I mentioned earlier, how I overanalyze everything and see the negatives. Well, when I met Hunter, and I saw the size of his hands, I imagined the pain I would feel if he hit me.