But then she does.
“I-I’m afraid,” comes her barely audible response.
“Don’t be. I’ve got you. I won’t let anything hurt you. Including me.”
She’s silent for a long time as I press tiny kisses along her jaw and cheek, stroking the smooth parts of her skin to put her at ease.
“Please don’t disappoint me.”
Her request is like a punch in the gut. The pain, the raw plea in her voice cuts through me like a knife.
“I’d rather take a beating than disappoint you.”
She raises tentative hands to curl her fingers around my biceps. I feel them tremble. I feel her fight as clearly as if it were my own. But I also feel her give in.
“Then love me.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice.
TWENTY-ONE
Katie
For the first time since I woke up from a medically induced coma in the hospital five years ago, I’m letting go. I’m trusting. I’m throwing all my caution, all my insecurity, all my reasons out the window and I’m letting someone in. All the way in.
For the first time, I’m trying to live.
Rogan has seen me. All of me. All the ugly, all the fear, and he still wants me. I might never experience this again, so for just this one moment in time, I’m giving in.
I don’t protest when he slides one arm behind my back and the other beneath my knees to sweep me off my feet. In the bedroom, he sets me at the foot of the bed, but he doesn’t back away. Instead, he stands so close I can feel the heat radiating from his chest, from his stomach, from his thighs, warming me through and through.
He lowers his mouth to mine in a kiss that sears me—my flesh, my heart, my soul. It says he accepts me. It says he wants me. It says that, for now, he won’t hurt me. He’ll only make me feel beautiful and special and loved. Not like a freak show.
With every soft brush of his lips, he rubs away Ronnie’s touch. He rubs away Calvin, my ex’s, fists. He replaces the flames of my past with a new kind of fire, the kind that kindles low in my belly and spreads through my limbs in a slow blaze.
“You taste so good,” he mutters as he licks along the crease of my lips. “I bet you’re delicious everywhere.”
My knees go all soft at his words. It’s been so long . . . So, so long . . .
Rogan spreads kisses across my collarbone and down the center of my chest. His hands come up to palm my breasts. He grazes my nipples with his thumbs and I let my head drop back on my shoulders, the sensation tingling all the way down my arms to my fingertips.
“So beautiful,” he says as his lips travel to cover one nipple. The first touch of his tongue, hotter than any real fire, causes me to gasp. “Do you like that?” he asks, swirling wet heat around the sensitive peak. I don’t respond. I simply thread my fingers into his hair and hold him to me. He laughs, a deep throaty chuckle that vibrates through my breast. “Mmmm, that’s what I thought.”
When he sucks my turgid flesh into his mouth, I arch my back, pressing into him. I feel as much as hear his groan. His response is immediate. He pulls and tugs and nibbles at my nipple as his fingers twist and tweak the other one. My stomach clenches and moisture floods my panties.
Switching from hand to mouth at my other breast, Rogan treats it to the same pleasure as he moves his palm down my stomach to the closure of my jeans. With a flick, he releases the button and slides the zipper down, running his fingers just under the elastic of my panties to cup my hipbone.
He releases my nipple and drags his lips down to my bellybutton, where he swirls his tongue inside, his hand coming around to cup my butt and push my jeans a little farther down.
“Seems like I’ve wanted this forever,” he murmurs against me, kissing lower. “And it’s even better than I imagined.”
I steel myself against the urge to flinch when Rogan tugs the denim of my pants down my legs, his fingers grazing more scarred flesh. The burns splatter my hip and leg, running all the way to my knee. He doesn’t seem to care, though, which relaxes me. He only presses his lips to each expanse of battered skin, as if he’s telling the universe that it’s okay for me to look this way. “So beautiful,” he whispers, nothing but sincerity in his voice.
When he reaches my feet, he slips off my shoes and then my jeans, leaving me standing before him in nothing but my panties. I glance down, my skin burning up under his gaze as it travels slowly up my body to meet mine. What I see in his smoky green eyes makes me feel elated and excited and . . . happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.
“You’re amazing,” he claims sincerely. Reaching up, he runs his hands from my ribs all the way down my sides, his fingers skating over both healthy and scarred skin to curl into the edges of my panties. He pulls them off as he explores my legs. When I step out of them, I watch his face, eating up the pure lust I see there. I never thought anyone would look at me that way again. Not when they could really see me. But it’s there. Plain as the nose on my face. More incredible than the sun in the sky.