Touching Scars(84)

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You just feel too far away, and I feel like I’m falling right now. I need you to hold me so I know I’m okay.”

Getting up, I padded over to her bed and carefully laid down next to her, worried that if I moved too fast, she’d ask me to go back to the couch. Something occurred to me. “Do you want me to put on a shirt?”

I felt her hands come up to my bare chest and run from my pecs to my shoulders. “No, I need you like this. I want to feel your skin, your warmth.”

I couldn’t help the shiver that went through me. She didn’t mean anything sexual by her touch, but my body stirred. I made sure my hips were far enough away from her so she wouldn’t feel me poking her leg.

We were both quiet, facing each other and looking in one another’s eyes. I gave her some time to get used to me being here again, her being the only one making physical contact. When she tugged on me lightly, I shifted myself closer. Thankfully, my erection got the hint there was no action coming his direction tonight or anytime soon. I was feeling confident enough that she would let me hold her close, so I brought my arm up, settled it over her ribs, and tucked her small frame into the front of me. She bent her arms up so they were folded in front of her and she pressed herself as close to my chest as she could, her head resting over my heart. Finally, this felt right.

“Has he ruined me?” Kat asked in the all too quiet space. She sounded so timid.

I opened and lifted both of my hands to grasp her face. I didn’t want her to look anywhere but at me. “Nothing about you is ruined. You’re perfect.”

Her lower lip quivered in the moonlight. “But you saw what he did to me. How are you not disgusted by me?”

I ground my teeth together, my jaw clenching. “He’s the one that’s disgusting. You didn’t choose for him to do those things. You were forced, Kat. You’re never going to look any different in my eyes from the day when I first really looked at you until now. I’m always going to want you.”

“When did you first really see me?”

I was all too happy to give our conversation a slight push in another direction. “That day on the field when I stuck around in the parking lot. I got my first taste of my feisty girl.” I smiled at her and she bit her lip to suppress her own smile. “You were so sure of yourself when I approached you. You had your head held high and you were so confident telling me that I was being a big chicken shit with my supposed friends. You weren’t scared to lay it on me and tell me how it was. Nobody had spoken to me like that before. And yet this tiny little girl came and plowed me over.” I chuckled and shook my head. “I think you had me even then, Kat. I just think we are meant for each other now, when we are both at our lowest. Plus, I think you might have rejected me if I asked you out back then.” I added that last bit to poke fun at her. She laughed, picking up on my teasing. “There it is.” My fingers caressed her cheek. “There’s my smile. See? Not ruined.”

As her smile faded, she still stared at me as though she could see into me. “I love you, Timber.”

I pressed my lips to her forehead. “I love you too. Now close your eyes and get some sleep.” She settled into me and I felt her fall into easy slow breathes.

I’d kept my eyes open for some time, thinking about my conversation with Beaver. Adam had left town. I was sure of that. But what I didn’t like was that he was still alive and able to come back here if he was feeling brave. For his own sake and livelihood, he’d better stay away.





AFTER THAT NIGHT WHEN KAT finally let me in her bed, things started to really turn to normal. Well, with the exception that I never let her out of my sight. I’d not gone back to work, and Slim and Roger were perfectly okay with that. After they’d found out about Adam, Roger had gone on a rampage to find out where Adam was, but the bastard had seemed to drop off the grid. Plus, if anybody was going to be getting their hands on that piece of shit, it was going to be me. They’d both mentioned quitting their jobs, but I convinced them to stay. They had nothing else to fall back on, and rumor had it that A&S Emissions was putting the field up for sale.

For the most part, we were back to our usual selves. Another two weeks had passed and I was spending every single night in the bar, taking my place on my usual stool, and bullshitting around with the customers. I’d grown fond of several of the regulars, and they seemed to be growing accustomed to seeing me around. One of them was a seventy-eight year old man who smoked like a stack house and was a total pool shark. I found out later that he was Ed’s older brother. There was a night, not long ago, that I challenged him to a game of pool. That creaking, coughing, rickety old man wiped the floor with me that first game. I don’t think I even got to shoot any of the balls besides making the first break. Every evening after that, I played him a game or two. Kat would look on with so much love in her eyes, it only made me sink further into her.