Touching Scars(60)

“Did we save her?” He coughed and blood spit out of his mouth.

I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t want his last moments to be upsetting so I simply said, “yes.”

“Good.” I put more pressure on the hole and he groaned.

“Goddamn it, hold on Holt. Please hold on, they’re coming, okay? Back up is coming.”

His arm had fallen away from me and now hung limply by his side. His eyes turned towards mine as if seeing me for the first time. He whispered the word ‘brother’, and then his mouth began opening and closing while he tried to gasp for air. His lungs were filling up with blood and he was drowning in it.

“No, no, no, not now. Don’t you fucking die on me! You hold on. You have too much fucking life left. Stay with me.” My words grew quieter as I realized his eyes were empty. He was gone.

I’d blacked out after that. The next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital bed with bandages all over me, covering the wounds I’d gotten from flying shrapnel. Doctors had come in and out of my room, asking me questions about how I was feeling, checking if I was healing, and whatever else fucking doctors do. I’d laid in that bed for two weeks and barely moved.

I’d learned that Intel had found out the woman we’d tried to save had been trying to lure us for months. She, and a few others, had been waiting for the right moment to make their move. They’d timed everything, knowing when we’d be there, what weapons we would have, and waited until we were close enough before they detonated the bomb. The doctors told me that Corey and Rooster had been so close to the explosion that there hadn’t been enough remains that resembled a body to send back to their families to bury. They said that if Holt hadn’t covered me like he had, I probably wouldn’t even be here. They said it like I was lucky. I didn’t feel lucky, I felt fucking cursed.

Any semblance of brotherhood I’d had with those men was now dead and buried. I was dead too. Nothing inside of me wanted to live. I’d lost my brothers, and I wished I’d died with them. All I had were some cuts that the doctor said some would likely scar, but most would heal and fade away. What about the damage that was done internally? Nothing about my scars inside would fade or heal. I should have died with my brothers.



A firecracker went off outside my window and I shot out of bed. My eyes scanned the dark space, looking for the danger that I knew was there. Movement in the bed caught my eye and I turned toward it, reaching out for the pocket knife I’d set on the desk.

“What’s the matter, Timber? Come back to bed.” Kat’s voice pierced through my confusion. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes. She didn’t see me pick up the knife. Stepping back against the desk, I put it down behind me.

“Nothing’s wrong, just couldn’t sleep. Go back to bed.”

Her arms dropped in her lap, and even in her sleepy state with bed head, she was absolutely beautiful. “I’m going to grab some water real quick. I’ll be right back.”

Walking out of the room and into the kitchen, I filled a glass with water but set it on the counter. I hadn’t been thirsty I just needed to get out of there. I could still hear some popping going off down the street and I tried my hardest to calm my tense nerves. I paced the kitchen a few times and decided that maybe some cold water on my face would help. The bathroom light was bright as I walked in and my eyes blinked rapidly as they adjusted. Turning on the faucet, I put my hands under the water until I felt it run from warm to cool. Splashing it up on my cheeks, I rubbed my eyes with my palms. I felt a light touch on my back and I looked up in the mirror to see Kat standing behind me, concern filling her eyes.

“You have a bad dream?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

She moved to my side. “Want to talk about it?”

No, I didn’t want to talk about it. I also didn’t want to push her away again like I’d done earlier. I wanted her close. I wanted to feel her hands on me. Turning to gaze at her, her eyes looked through me like she knew exactly what was going through my mind. I said the only thing I that I wanted in that moment.

“Make me forget, Kat. I need a night that I don’t remember them.”

She tipped her head down once, letting me know she knew what I was saying. As she stepped closer, my hands automatically went around her waist. “Is your dad home?”

“No, he and Alice went to stay at her place since she lives closer to town.”

“Okay.”

She lifted her hands and moved them up the front of my bare chest. Her fingers slipped behind my neck and she pulled me down until her mouth was on mine. It wasn’t a crushing kiss, it was a sweet one. Her mouth opened and it was all I needed for me to dive in and taste every inch of her. Her hands wove through my hair, while my own hands had moved around her back and onto her ass. I pulled her up against me and my cock was resting on her stomach. I felt her rise on her toes and she was grinding against me as if she were trying to get some friction where she needed it.