“I did?” I could hardly meet his gaze.
His voice hardened. “What the fuck is going on, Kat?” He very gently tipped my chin up and forced me to look at him. Tears were pooling in my eyes and a few trickled down my cheeks. “What happened to you?”
I swallowed hard. “Nothing happened. I’m s-sorry, I didn’t realize that I pushed you away.”
“Bullshit, Kat. I think it’s time to talk. Nobody gets that into it and then pushes away saying ‘don’t touch me.’ Where’d you go just now?”
I had no idea that I’d gone inside my own head and shut down. There wasn’t any possible way I could explain this one. Putting my hands up to my face, I sighed and tried to twist out of his grasp. He held me firmly in place against the brick. Being that I wasn’t in the right place in my head, and him preventing me from moving, I lashed out. “Get the fuck away, Timber!”
“What is wrong with you, Kat? No! I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what just happened.”
“Let me go.”
“No, not until you talk.”
“I said let go of me, Timber!” I shouted.
His eyes were firm and unyielding. It pissed me off and I wanted to slap him. So I did, or at least I tried. I’d forgotten that he was stronger and faster than me. He caught my wrist before it made contact with his cheek. My temper flared even more. I brought my other hand up to try and slap his other cheek. Again, he caught it. His large hands pulled my hands down to my sides. I screamed in frustration.
“I have no idea what is going on with you, Kat, but you’ve got to tell me.” He leaned in and rested his forehead on mine. I was seething. It angered me that he had me trapped and yet being so gentle about it.
“I just don’t want you to touch me. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
His head snapped up and he glared at me. “Oh, you may think you can lie to me, baby, but your body can’t. You were worked up and rubbing all over my dick, Kat. I’d be willing to bet that if I stuck my hand in your panties your pussy would be soaking wet, so don’t fucking lie to me.”
I wanted to hate him for talking to me the way that he was. Even worse, I could still feel how damp I was. My mind was in a total frenzy and I just needed to escape. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to focus all of my energy on my movements. When my body seemed to relax, so did his hold. He never saw it coming. I jerked my arms out of his grasp, ducked to the left, and took off running down the alley. I heard him chasing after me. Even though I knew I didn’t need to fear him, everything inside of me was telling me to run. My body was in flight mode. Hearing his shoes hitting the pavement, I knew he was gaining on me. My chest was tight from the short distance I’d just sprinted and I knew I couldn’t outrun him, but my feet wouldn’t let me stop. Suddenly, two strong arms wrapped around me and Timber held both of my arms in a crisscross over my chest. I couldn’t move. I fought against his hold, pushing off with my feet against the ground. He picked me up easily, as though I weighed nothing, and held me in the air. I tried to kick my foot back into his groin but he anticipated my move.
“Fucking Christ, Kat, would you calm down? I’m not going to hurt you,” he said into my ear.
“I hate you. Let me go!” I screamed and continued my fight.
His hold tightened, almost to the point of pain. As his fingers bit into my wrists, the sensation of pain seeped into my psyche and allowed me to come back to reality. My fighting slowly decreased and he began to speak softly in my ear.
“I’m here. I’m not going to hurt you. I’ve got you. Let it out.”
My heart was hammering in my chest, and I could hear the whooshing sounds of blood through my ears. When my body gradually went lax, I felt Timber take a few steps backwards and lean into a wall. My back was to him and he was still holding me. My fight turned into tears and I let myself cry. Like really cry for the first time since the incident. I was no longer pushing and kicking, I was sagging in Timber’s arms. He turned me to face him and cradled me like a baby with an arm behind my back and one under my legs. I cuddled into his neck, breathing in the scent of him, and wept. The front of his shirt was soaked with my tears but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he said simply.
I shook my head no.
“You know I can’t let this go, Kat. I know you don’t want to tell me right now and I’ll respect that, but this isn’t going to go away. I refuse to let you deal with whatever is in your head alone.”
I remained silent, my body quaking slightly from trying to breathe after crying so hard.