Touching Scars(38)

I’d grabbed a few snacks for us too since I had no idea what she’d bought at the store. We drove back to my place and I went in and started putting the first disc in. Kat closed the curtains, making the room fairly dark. When we were ready, I settled into my usual spot in the corner of the couch. Kat came over and snuggled into my side, laying her head on my chest. I hadn’t expected her to cuddle up to me, but you wouldn’t hear me complaining. Resting my hand on the curve of her hip, we sat back and watched the movie in silence. Two hours later, the credits started rolling and Kat leaned up on her arm.

“Did you like it?”

“Well, I thought it was awesome that the elephant was a murderer in the end. Who knew that the trunk is such a powerful weapon. Well… come to think of it, my trunk is pretty strong.” I waggled my eyebrows at her. She slapped my chest and laughed.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said.

Standing up and stretching my arms above my head, I looked down at her and caught her staring at the exposed skin of my stomach where my shirt had ridden up. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought she looked like a starving woman, the way her eyes were transfixed on me. I was going to go put in another movie, but the way that she was watching me was causing me to get a little heated myself so I changed direction and headed into the kitchen for some ice water. When my pants got a little looser, I went back into the living room, only to see her standing up and looking at the few pictures I had sitting on the built in shelves.

I walked up behind her. Without turning around, she asked, “Do you miss her?”

Reaching around her and picking up the photo of me and my mom, I answered her. “Every day,” I stated simply. “She was someone to look up to. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t know that my mom had my back. Did you know that when I was eight years old, my mom had gotten a phone call from Mr. Beck, who owned the Penny Candy Store, and he said that he had seen me shoving a bunch of candy into my pockets? Mom hung up the phone with him and came to me to ask me what had happened. I lied, of course, and told her that I paid for that candy and Mr. Beck was being mean because he didn’t like me or my friends coming in his store.” I laughed at the memory. “Mom turned right back around and marched to the phone and called Mr. Beck and told him that he could shove it.” I chuckled a bit more. “Mom never cussed, so hearing her say ‘shove it’ was pretty epic.”

Kat laughed. “Sounds like she loved you very much.”

Looking down at the photo of us, my mom’s arms wrapped around my shoulders while she stood behind me, kissing my cheek, I said, “Yeah… she did.” I gently placed the photo back on the shelf.

“Timber?”

“Yeah?” I said quietly.

“I think we need to talk about last night.”

I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. Turning and walking back over to the couch, I sat down and leaned forward. “What do you want to know? I can’t promise I’ll tell you everything, but I suppose you deserve to know some things.”

She came over and sat a few inches away from me. “H-how long were you over there? You know… in Iraq?”

Her stuttering made me look over at her. Those hazel eyes looked like they were staring into the depths of my soul, and again I felt like I could talk without it crushing me. Taking a deep breath I said, “Two tours. Three years total.”

“Was it hard?”

“Some days. Other days, no.”

“Were you like this after your first tour?”

“I suppose not, no. There were certain aspects that I struggled with. But I’m sure we all struggle in some way when we come back. We have to re-adjust to life, just like our families had to adjust to having us back home.”

“What happened this last time then that made you… you know?” She bit her lip after she asked.

I blew out a heavy breath. “I’m not sure that’s something that I can answer completely right now.” Still, needing her to know some of it, I went on. “I worked every day with the same group of guys. We ate together, slept in the same room together, drilled together, and patrolled together. Basically anything we could do together besides pissing and shitting together, we did. It obviously was easy for all of us to get close. They became my brothers. Since I had been an only child, I figured that was what having a brother must have been like. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for them.” Swallowing, her eyes moved to my Adam’s apple. “I would have even died for them. If there was gunfire or bombs going off, I would have thrown myself in front of them without a second thought.”