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Touching Scars(13)

By:Stacy Borel


I’d never told a soul that I had the smallest, useless, and most insignificant of crushes all those years ago on the very man that was now standing in my bar. Those feelings all disappeared the day he watched as Adam threw a ball at my back. As I continued to sit there, replaying that day in my head, I rode out wave after wave of panic that rose in my chest. When I was finally calming down I heard Ed call for me.

I cleared my throat and stood up before he saw me like this. I didn’t want him asking me questions. Besides, maybe Timber was only here for a couple of days and he’d be leaving. Yes. He would be leaving and everything will be fine.

“Kat, you in here?” Ed strode into the fridge and looked me over.

I had picked up a box to make it look like I was putting up the beer order. “Oh, sorry Ed, I didn’t hear you. Is it getting busy out there?”

Ed had always been observant. He watched me wearily and said, “Yeah. Mel can’t make drinks and bus tables. I’ll take care of all this.”

I set the box down and stood back up, wiping my hands on my shorts. “Sure, no problem.”

As I walked past him, he put his hand on my shoulder. “Everything okay, kid?”

He searched for something in my eyes to tell him differently, but I’d become good at hiding more than just myself. I plastered on a smile and said, “Yeah. Everything’s great, Ed.”

He held his hand there for a second longer and then nodded, releasing my shoulder. I darted around the corner and out of the cool air. My lungs felt tight and I expelled the breath that I wasn’t aware I’d been holding. Giving myself a mental pep talk I said, you can do this. Be normal, be cool. Don’t give him anything that could tip him off.

I walked down the long hallway back to the bar. My eyes sought him out on their own accord. I blew off the feeling that I wanted to know where he was because I was curious about him and convinced myself that I needed know where he was as if he were the enemy. He sat next to Slim at the far end of the bar. He was drinking what I assumed was a Crown and coke.

You can do this.

I moved behind the bar and stuck to the opposite end from where they were sitting. I knew I was being an asshole to my uncle by avoiding him when he was here to celebrate my birthday, but there was no way I could work by them. My plan was to get through this shift and go upstairs to re-center myself. I just needed to get through the next four hours.

As the evening progressed, The Hole got busier and busier. It was never far from my thoughts that Timber was sitting only a few feet away. At one point during the evening as he was busy talking to my uncle and had his back to me, I allowed my eyes to freely roam over him.

When Slim introduced us, I didn’t get a good look at his face, but I had noticed how tall he was. I was a short five foot three, and he was over six feet tall. The black wife beater tank he wore showed the chiseled definition of his biceps. Every time he brought his hand forward to grasp his glass, his muscles would bulge in the most appealing way. His shoulders were broad and his shirt clung to the expanse of his back as the fabric stretched down to a trim waist. I could see ink peeking out from under the tank and I was curious what it looked like. The tats that showed went down the length of his left arm in a full sleeve. Some were shaded black, while others displayed bright colors in blues, reds, and greens. They were beautiful. I found myself wanting to get closer so I could examine them. I had known that he was in the Army, so I was surprised when he turned to the side and I saw his gauged ears. I may not have known much about the military, but I knew they didn’t allow tattoos and earrings. As my eyes continued their pursuit of him, I noticed that he looked… older. Obviously, it had been six years, but this kind of aging was different. His expression was hard and his scowl seemed permanent. Even this far away from him, I could feel the air around him. He had an edge, something that screamed dangerous. The Army had clearly done something to toughen him. What had happened?

As I let my thoughts wander about Timber, he must have sensed me looking. He turned his face in my direction and his pale blue eyes pierced mine. I reached out to grab the counter, shaken, because the weight of his stare was more than I expected. He had definitely changed. I shifted unsteadily.

I watched his scowl soften as he continued to watch me through the most incredible sea of blue I’d ever seen. It must have been the lighting in the bar, or that his skin was a deep golden tan, because I couldn’t remember his eyes being so hypnotic. My stomach rolled with unease. He seemed to be trying to figure me out, but I was feeling desire.

Mel came up behind me and said, “Pretty, isn’t he? I was checking him out when he came in earlier. Do you know him?”