“Okay,” I said, not sure where this was going. “And he lives in New York too?”
Grant nodded absently, like his mind was somewhere else. “Yeah, he’s actually a doctor. You know, one of those really extra brilliant ones always being talked about in articles and journals and stuff?”
“Okay,” I repeated, not sure where this was going, but it was obviously important to him.
“Ravi Patel—well, Dr. Patel now, but back when I was a dumb-as-shit freshman and he was a senior tasked with getting me through chemistry, I knew him as Ravi.”
“Grant, you’re rambling. What is it?” I asked as gently as I could.
“He’s a neurologist. Not the one you met with last week, but still, he’s in the field. He’s good, Ryan. So damn good.” Grant scrubbed his face with one of his hands, his eyes still fixed on the floor. “I sat down and talked to him about you—”
“About me?” My voice rose, but for good reason. The fewer people who knew about me, the better. I’d already bumped up my talk with Charlie after what had happened today, and I didn’t want to move it up again. Plus, with Grant talking with this doctor, I wasn’t sure if doctor-patient confidentiality was still a factor.
Like when the media found out about it and came knocking on his office door, offering to pay him cash for a story.
“I trust him, Ryan. I’d trust him with my life. I mean that.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re allowed to trust him with my and Charlie’s lives,” I cut in.
“I know, I know. I didn’t mention Charlie. Just, please, listen.” He rolled his neck, making it pop again. “After telling him about your Huntington’s and asking him if he had any suggestions, anything, for ways we could help you, he brought up something.”
I wasn’t angry. Not really. I understood what it was like to be desperate for a miracle. I didn’t blame Grant for wanting that miracle. It was hard to watch someone else cling to any and every miracle though, when I’d realized a while ago that there was no such thing when it came to diseases like this one.
“What did he bring up?” I asked quietly.
Grant’s eyes met mine. “There are some new experimental drugs. A couple look really promising.”
My head shook. “Those experimental drugs won’t be available to someone like me until it’s too late. It will take years, maybe decades, before any of those new drugs make it through the FDA.”
His head shook as he moved to one of the windows. “These drugs don’t have to pass through the FDA.”
“Every prescription drug in the US has had to pass through the FDA. Why would any of these be different?”
He stared out the window, bracing his arms on the sill. “Because these ones aren’t in the US. They’re in Europe.”
I’d been so ready to argue with him that his answer made the words stick in my throat. It took me a moment to realize what he was saying.
“But how could we get the drug here? Wouldn’t it be illegal?” I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at him. As painful as it was, I was thankful he’d held onto hope. As far-fetched as it was, I was touched he’d taken such time to even look into an alternative so out-of-the-box.
“We’d have to travel there. That would be the only way.”
“Travel to Europe?” My voice cracked. I’d never been outside of the US. After my diagnosis, I never thought I would either. “How are we going to do that? You’re in the middle of your season. I don’t think I can travel that kind of distance on my own anymore.”
Grant turned around, holding up his hands. “This isn’t something we’re going to be able to do tomorrow. Ravi’s heard through the grapevine about these new drugs. It’ll take him time to narrow down which lab’s working on them, and time to make contacts that would be willing to let us make a ‘donation’ in exchange for the drug.”
My eyebrows pulled together. All I could see was red flag after red flag in that conversation. “Donation? Is that the way they do things over in Europe? A person walks into a pharmacy and makes a donation in exchange for their pills?”
The dark room couldn’t hide the sheepish expression on his face. “These drugs aren’t even on the market in Europe yet, Ryan. They’re getting close, but you would be one of the first humans on the planet to try them.”
My heart was sliding up my throat. From nerves mainly, but also from hope. I’d abandoned it so long ago, and sacrificing it had been painful. I didn’t want to chance the same thing happening when and if this proved to be like the rest of the times I’d let myself hope.