Touching Down(55)

Realizing that sent a rush of pleasure through my body, pooling between my legs.

“I’m going to kiss you, Ryan.” His head nuzzled my neck. “I should probably ask permission, but fuck, I don’t want to, because I have to kiss you. Whether you think it’s a good idea or not.”

My arms went limp, my legs following, but it wasn’t from the disease; it was from the sickness I had for this man. The one that crippled me. The one that paralyzed me. My eyes squeezed closed when his face came around in front of mine. “You don’t want to kiss me, Grant.”

“Like hell I don’t.” His words were hot on my lips.

“You don’t want to do this.” I shook my head, trying to pound some sense into one of us because my god, this man had worn the sense right out of me with a few words and touches. If I stalled long enough, I was hoping one of us would realize how foolishly we were behaving. “You might want what I am now, but you’re not going to want the me in ten years. In five years. I won’t let you take on that burden.”

“Do I look scared?” He waited for me to open my eyes before continuing. “Do I look like I flinched?” His hand gently curved around the side of my neck. “Do I look like I’m going anywhere?”

My vision started to blur, but I held the tears back. “You don’t want to kiss me. I came back so you could have a relationship with our daughter, not so we could pick back up where we left off.”

“I’ve got other plans, and it’s okay.” His eyes turned playful, a challenge settling in them. “Because you’re going to kiss me.”

My mouth fought a smile. “What makes you so sure?”

His brows bounced. “Because you’ve never been able to resist me when I give you a certain look. You know the one. Cocked brow, crooked smile, suggestive eyes? That look. Drove you wild every time.”

I did my best to look unimpressed, but holy smolder, the look was pretty damn impressive. “Please. That look?” I tsked, waving at him dismissively.

Before my hand had barely moved, he’d trapped it in his and tied it behind my back, right as his mouth crashed down on mine. He didn’t move in slow, he didn’t ease me into the kiss. He kissed me for the first time in seven years the way Grant’s and my relationship had always been—hard and deep.

It wasn’t his kiss that surprised me most though; it was the way I kissed him back. It was the way I didn’t hesitate, as though I’d been as ready for it as he had been.

His lips moved fast and desperately against mine, his tongue less requesting permission than demanding it when it invaded my mouth, tangling with mine in an achingly familiar way. The harder he kissed me, the harder his hands pressed into me, sinking into my flesh until they felt as though they’d become a part of me. All I could do was find some place to grab on and hold on because Grant’s kiss did not come to an end soon. It felt as though it never might.

Then, as quickly as he’d descended upon me, his mouth retreated, marking a few last kisses along the seam of my lips. His hands stayed where they were though, one pressed into the bend of my back, the other still adhered to the base of my neck. His eyes were alive when he leaned back, his lips wet and almost swollen-looking. His chest was rising and falling as hard as it had when we’d made love for the first time.

God. Sex. I was desperate for it. After that kiss, I felt like I would have done anything to get it. From the look on his face, I knew he’d be willing to meet my need. Damn, from the mass still bulging through his slacks, I knew we were one zipper and a thin piece of material away from fulfilling that desire. It wouldn’t take me long. He’d probably barely get inside me before I’d start coming undone, but something was holding me back. Some reason why we couldn’t. Something more important than my sheer desperation to have Grant bend me over the closest available surface and fuck me until I couldn’t stand.

Right then was when my arms surged with feeling, right before they shook involuntarily. Despite where I’d tied my hands behind Grant’s neck, my fingers came untied and my arms fell as my arms continued to shake out of control.

This was why. This was my reason.

I wanted Grant and all that came with him, but more than that, I wanted to save him from the pain that would come if we went any farther.

As my arms were falling, Grant’s hands were suddenly there, his fingers winding around my wrists, keeping them in his hold. His grip didn’t loosen, his expression didn’t waver, and his eyes never left mine. He held me as my body rocked from the chorea.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned in, his grip tightening as the last of the spasm shuddered through my body. “So don’t even think about trying to push me away.”