Touch of Eternity(85)

“Payton, please stay with me, stay awake. The ambulance will be here any minute!” There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to order him to get well again, to forbid him to die. I even wished the curse would come back, with all my might, if it would mean healing his injury.

His hand fell limply from my cheek, and he closed his eyes.

“No! Payton!” My loud sobs almost suffocated me. “Please stay here.” I leaned my face down and begged. “I love you… I need you… I can’t live without you. Please… Don’t leave me!”

After every single word I kissed his face—his eyelids, the little scar on his chin, the tip of his nose. I felt a weak puff of air on my skin when I got close to his mouth, and in desperation, I kissed him. Our lips touched and our tears blended.

Then he moved no longer.

“No!” I cried, shaking him until the pain in my shoulder forced me to stop. Then a paramedic pushed me aside, and I leaned against the wall, numb.

“No pulse, no respiration,” the man drily noted as they bundled Payton onto a stretcher

Trying to blind out the world, I shut my eyes. I wished I could shut off everything. I didn’t want to hear anything else, didn’t want to feel any more pain. It was my fault, I thought. None of this would have happened without me.

Finally, Sean knelt next to me and lifted me up, carrying me like a child down the steps. I hardly noticed the strained, worried faces of my friends behind the police line.



During the ride to the hospital, I couldn’t get one question out of my head:

My one true love—had that been it?





EPILOGUE


So there I was, on a sterile white hospital bed. My shoulder and my whole right arm were wrapped up in bandages. I was pumped full of pain medication, but it couldn’t ease the agony in my heart. My mom had pulled a few strings at the hospital, so I was given a private room. The pale coral paint on the walls was supposed to convey a feeling of comfort and cheer, but the strong smell of disinfectant and the glaring artificial light destroyed any illusions that I was at a spa.

I could hear Kim’s voice. I had noticed earlier that she was sitting with Ashley in the hall. A nurse had obviously forbidden them to disturb me, and I was very grateful for that. I just wasn’t ready yet. I’d been sitting on the side of the bed for quite a while, but I couldn’t decide whether it would be better to lie down to regain my strength, or if I should summon the courage to go out to my friends. A tear fell into my lap.

What kind of medication had they given me, I wondered. Placebos? Nothing seemed to be working. But I knew at some point, the pain would ease. My throat still felt corded up when I thought of our last kiss. Payton’s soft lips had been so full of hunger, wanting more. Without the pain that had always forced him to keep away from me, he had savored that kiss. Our lips joining together had touched off an explosion of emotion. He had lost consciousness with a quiet and happy sigh.

“Oh God, Payton.”

No, I couldn’t summon the strength to see my friends. I threw myself on the bed and buried my face in the pillow to muffle my sobs.

A touch on my shoulder made me jerk in surprise. I involuntarily asked myself what I looked like. My eyes must have been red-rimmed and swollen, my nose raw from constant blowing, and my hair sticky with dried blood. Not to mention I had a monstrous bandage on my shoulder. Still, my visitor smiled at me. This day had also left a mark on him.

“Hi, Sean.”

There was no sign of his usual carefree manner. Dark shadows lay under his eyes, and a stubbly beard covered his thin face. His lips were pressed together into a worried line.

“Hi, Sam, are you doing all right?” He patted my hand. “Ashley and I… we are worried about you.”

“I guess I’m OK. But I really want to know what happened to Payton. No one will tell me. Do you have any news?”

I didn’t really want an answer to that question. Didn’t want to hear what I already knew. That he hadn’t made it.

Sean avoided my eyes, stepped back from the bed, and brushed his hand through his hair.

“Well,” he muttered, “I don’t quite know how to tell you.”

Although I had feared as much, my heart skipped a beat. I jumped out of the bed, howling “No!” as I hit Sean again and again with my healthy hand. My cries and sobs must have penetrated the whole floor.

Finally, Sean held my fist in his hands. He looked a little sheepish as he kissed me on my head. “Sam, listen, I am sorry. I know that you love Payton, but I swear I’ll kill him if he asks me again when he can see you. You should get to him as quickly as possible!”

“What?” I pushed Sean away from me and looked into his face. His eyes were radiating happiness, and he was grinning from ear to ear.