Touch Me Not(79)

“Then my best friend will be there to put me back together again.” Lily offered him a small smile. She knew it was true. Nikoli was going to hurt her, but she’d take the hurt for the way she felt right now.

“But, Lils, if you’d only listen to what I’m saying, you won’t be broken.” Adam stood and started to pace. “I love you, Lily. We can be so happy together, if you’ll just trust me and let me show you.”

“Adam, what about Sue?”

“What about her?”

“You’re supposed to be getting married in a few weeks. What would that do to her?”

He stopped pacing and sat down on the floor. His face was torn, confused.

“I think you’re only saying all this now because of Nikoli. You love Sue, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why would you even consider leaving her?”

“Because I love you!” he shouted, his frustration pouring out. “You’re not listening to me, Lily. I love you more than I could ever love Sue. I want to marry you, have kids with you, and grow old with you. Only you. I’ve always wanted that. You are my heart, Lily. It’s killing me watching you and Nikoli, thinking that should be me with you. Every time I see you two together, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. What can I say to make you understand, Lily? I love you.”

Tears blurred Lily’s vision and she wiped them away. He sounded so broken.

“Why, Lily? Why do you trust him and not me?”

“Because I was afraid, Adam.” Her words were hesitant, uncertain. “I’ve been seeing Rebekha again, twice a week for the last few weeks. We’ve been talking about that. I was afraid that if I let myself touch you, you’d die, just like Daddy. I couldn’t do that. My mind refused to even contemplate it. Nikoli had no ties to me. He was a stranger and I wasn’t afraid of hurting him like I was you.”

“Do you still think you can hurt me?”

“No. I understand my fears now, and between Nikoli and Rebekha, I’m getting better.”

“Then why not give us a chance, Lils? Let me show you how much I love you, how good we can be together.”

“Because I don’t love you like that, Adam.” Her voice was quiet, somber. She watched him recoil in hurt, and it nearly made her double over from the pain. “I do love you, but I love you like a brother, like my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life, but that’s all I feel for you, Adam.”#p#分页标题#e#

He stood, his movements stiff and slow. His eyes were haunted when he looked at her, but there was a determination in them too. “When he breaks you, Lily, I will be here to pick up the pieces. Then I’ll show you what you mean to me, and maybe you’ll give us a chance.”

“Adam…”

“No,” he cut her off. “Don’t say anything, Lily. I’m not going to give up on you. I’m the one who will be here for you when he’s gone. Remember that.” Adam walked over and planted a quick kiss on her head. It was so fast, it reminded her of Nikoli’s sneak attacks. It was over so quickly she didn’t have time to freak. He gave her a crooked smile and let himself out, closing the door behind him.

Lily closed her eyes and let her head fall to the desk.

Damn you, Nikoli Kincaid, for ruining any chance I had with Adam.

She cried, cried for the life she could have had, for the happiness that might have been, but mostly she cried for the hurt she’d caused the one person who she never wanted to hurt, but had.





Chapter Seventeen





Lily blinked at the bright sunshine as she walked out of the Miami-Dade airport. To her left, Luther looked ready to fall down and kiss the ground. He didn’t fly so well. Even liquor didn’t do the trick. Nikoli had laughed and told him he should have slept. Lily didn’t think that was an option for the poor guy. Flying truly terrified him. She’d plugged in her headphones and watched a movie on her tablet, and then opened a book she’d bought to bring with her. Nikoli had taken his own advice and slept the entire flight. She had a feeling he didn’t like flying either, only he handled it better than Luther.

They waited for the bus that would take them to the car rental facility on the property, and once there, Nikoli rented a new Lexus. Lily would have taken the less expensive Ford Focus, but as Nikoli kept reminding her, he could afford it. Since she’d told him she knew who he was, he seemed almost irritated with her for not asking him for things, but she didn’t want anything from him. Except for his love, and that was something she wasn’t going to get.