Touch(38)

“Sorry. Sorry.” He took a breath. “Why did you talk to your folks?”



“Because you confuse me, and they help me sort things out in my head. I told you. I don’t do that very well.”



“Why do I confuse you? I’m trying to be as straight as I can be.”



“I saw you with that girl, and I didn’t like how it made me feel. I’ve never done this, so I didn’t know if I was having a normal feeling or one of my crazy ones. So I asked my mom.”



“You’ve never done what?”



“Had a date.”



He gaped at her. “That was your first date?”



“Luca, come on. You think dating is something I would do? I feel like I’m lost in some kind of wilderness here. You know how I told you I have mental flashcards?” He nodded. “Well, none of them seem to apply.”



“You weren’t…” He swallowed. “A virgin?”



“No! I popped my cherry when I was sixteen, the last time I was in the funhouse. I have sex. But I just tell the guy I want to fuck, and then we fuck. That’s not a date. That’s just fucking.”



“I have honestly never met a woman anything at all like you before.” He laughed and wiped his hands over his face. “Damn, little bit. I’d’ve done it up better if I’d known it was your first date ever.”



“I think that’s a lie. I think you wouldn’t’ve asked at all.”



“You don’t know that. I don’t know that. That’s you jumping to conclusions again. For somebody who needs so much honesty, you’re quick to judge on short evidence.”



“I have lots of evidence that people lie.”



“But I don’t lie, Manny. Not without damn good reason. And I don’t like being judged with the crowd.”



“Sorry.” She wasn’t feeling all that sorry, but she knew that was what she was supposed to say. What she was feeling was a strong desire for this conversation to be over so she could decree her experiment in romance a failure and get on about finding a home for the funky little blown-glass dolphin that was her treasure among her new treasures. “And anyway, you lied about passing by.”



“That wasn’t a lie. The truth doesn’t have an answer, so that was as close as I could get. The truth is that I don’t know why I was here. I just found myself here. I was thinking about you while I was riding, and I just ended up in front of your place.”



“Oh. You were thinking about me?”



“Yeah. And I guess you’ve been thinking about me.”



“Yeah.”



His hand moved toward her thigh, but he stopped and dropped it back on his own thigh. Then he crossed his arms over his chest. “When you saw me with Lynne, what were you feeling?”



“I was jealous. Which is stupid, I know that. We just fucked once. Nothing to be jealous about if you fucked somebody else right after.”



“I didn’t fuck her.”



Manny bit back the accusation on her tongue that he was lying again. Instead, she said, “No? But…why not?”



“I was going to. She wanted to. But I couldn’t get it done. I was still thinking about watching you bounce on my lap the night before, and I couldn’t get interested in what was there in front of me at the time. First time in my life my johnson wasn’t ready to play, and that’s a damn fact. She’s pissed, too, so for all I know, all of the Cove knows that Luca Pagano had a dead eel in his wetsuit.”



Manny laughed, and once she started, she found that she couldn’t stop. The image of a dead eel in Luca’s wetsuit had come over in her oddly-wired head in literal terms, with a mouth, a lolling tongue, and little Xs for eyes.



But he did not share her humor. He was scowling, and that was quite obviously anger. “It’s the opposite of funny, bit.”



Her laughter dried up, and this time, when she said, “Sorry,” she meant it. She was quiet a minute, trying to sort her thoughts. They wouldn’t sort. Not enough cubbies, not enough flash cards. “I’m still confused, Luca.”



“Sugar, you and me both. That’s why you have to give me some leash. I’ll be honest with you, I promise, but sometimes I’m just guessing at the answer. A guess isn’t a lie.”



“Why does it matter? Why make me a promise?”



“I’m thinking about you. You’re thinking about me. Maybe there’s something here.”



“But I’m crazy. And I have no fucking idea what I’d be like in a…something. I don’t even know if I can handle it at all. Early reports aren’t encouraging.”