Torture to Her Soul(12)

I tried not to.

I swore I wouldn't.

But I did.

We can't help it sometimes, I think. We regularly fuck up just as easily as we breathe. The only missteps I ever make are the ones I have no control over, the shoves by fate that are unavoidable, but even still I always manage to keep my balance.

But with her, I'm losing it.

I'm losing my footing.

She's going to bring me to my knees if she makes that sound again.

Slowly, I walk over to her side of the bed, my footsteps quiet. I can see her body tense as I pause beside her, my shadow blocking the little bit of moonlight streaming in through the window. I stare down at her, seeing her eyes are open, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. Without saying a word, I reach for her, gently brushing a trail of tears away with my knuckles before pushing some hair back off her face, tucking it behind her ear.

She stares blankly at nothing, not meeting my eyes, not acknowledging my presence. Leaning down, I press a kiss to her cheek, tasting the salty wetness, reveling in her warmth. The moment my lips meet her skin, she does it again, makes that noise, the sharp inhale of desperation that runs through my body, settling in my rigid bones.

I kneel beside her and force her to look at me, to see me. There's no way I can possibly sleep tonight, no way I can relax, with her this way. "What can I do, Karissa?"

The question is quiet, but she flinches, like I shouted at her. Her lip curls into a sneer, hatred brewing in her eyes. "Go to Hell."

She chokes on the words, chokes on them like they're the bitterest things she's ever tasted. The passion makes my skin prickle. It's probably wrong, to get a thrill out of it, but fuck if her hostility doesn't make something stir inside of me, something primal and seedy. A twisting, a coiling, a brewing that makes my cock harden and my skin thicken.

The sensations are dangerous to evoke.

I run the back of my hand down her cheek again, wiping away more tears. "I've been heading that way for a long time, sweetheart."

The words are barely from my lips when I'm shoved, hard, nearly falling backward. I catch myself with my hands as she sits up, the blanket dropping from around her as she wraps her arms around her chest. She's not crying anymore, the resentment drying her tears.

The anger I can deal with… anything but the heartache.

Before she can speak, before she can react, I'm up again, my hands on either side of her on the bed as I lean forward, so close my nose brushes against hers.

She inhales sharply, this time from surprise.

"Careful," I whisper, my voice low and raw from the restrained emotion. "You know I like it when you fight."

"Fuck you."

I press my lips to hers, kissing her roughly.

She doesn't kiss me back.

It lasts only a few seconds before she pushes against my chest, shoving just enough space between us for her to hit me.

Hard.

She clocks me right in the mouth, her fist unexpected, catching me off guard. I grimace at the sharp stab of pain and grab ahold of her wrist before she can punch me again. She winces, flexing her fingers, glaring at me, her nostrils flaring as she shakes from anger.

The metallic tang of blood coats my tongue as I run it across my bottom lip, feeling the small gash where my teeth sliced into it. It burns, already pulsating to the rampant beat of my heart.

It isn't often someone has the guts to swing on me. Even more rare is my guard being down enough for them to actually connect.

The feelings I shoved down just a moment ago boil over, the fuse lit, everything I keep caged in all exploding out. I drag her back onto the bed as I climb on top of her, and she yells something, but her voice is barely a breath in the breeze, a dull murmur drowned out by the humming of electricity inside of me.

There's only one word that will break me out of this haze.

Red.

Red, the color of rage, the color of hate, the shade that takes over my life to the point I can barely think straight. Red, the color of blood, the thick ooze that seeps into hardwood floors and soaks fabric, rarely removable once its been spilled. Red, like the flush of her cheeks, and the curve of her mouth that just begs to meet my lips again. Red, like the claw marks she rakes down my arms, my chest, my neck, and my face. She's fighting, but she's pulling and not pushing, holding me to her as she annihilates my skin.

Red.

Red.

Red.

I kiss her hard again, the sting from my split lip absorbing deeper, seeping into my muscles, fueling me on. I bite her, not enough to draw blood, but enough for her to feel it like I do.

"Say it," I growl, pressing myself against her. I'm hard, so hard it hurts. "Say the word."

I want her to say it.

I need her to say it.

Because if she doesn't—if she doesn't scream it at the top of her lungs, if she doesn't spit it at me like venom—I'm not going to be able to stop. Red tints my vision, a hazy coating over everything, and 'red' is the only thing that can take it away.