“I’m sorry,” he muttered.
Without a word, I fixed my top and walked toward my apartment. As I climbed the steps, I knew I needed a long shower to alleviate the ache between my legs.
I swore it was a one-time thing. An accident. We were alone, and as long as we were around other people, we would be on our best behavior.
That was yet another lie.
The following Sunday, Delaney decided to cook a big supper with all the fixings. Nate and Julian minded the grill while I helped her in the kitchen. Julian and I were on better terms. He’d apologized for his actions, and after a few nights on the couch he and I were speaking again. Delaney was carrying out a bowl of pasta salad when Nate walked through the kitchen door.
“Make sure you shut the door,” she said over her shoulder. “I don’t want flies in the house.”
Julian rushed to help her, and I ignored the fact Nate and I were alone in the kitchen as I stood over the sink washing dishes. From the corner of my eye, I saw him walk slowly through the room. His hand grazed my back as he passed me and my breath caught in my throat. The pan slipped from my hand.
“Shit!”
“Everything okay?” he asked and opened the fridge.
“You can’t do that,” I barked and looked over at him.
“Do what?” He had a boyish grin on his face.
“You know exactly what you did.”
Nate didn’t speak. Instead, his eyes softened, the grin disappeared from his face, and I was greeted with the most delectable fuck me smile. His tongue ran across his lips.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
He closed the fridge door behind him. I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t.
“Like I want to taste you,” he whispered as he walked by. Goosebumps exploded all over my body. Nate stopped at the sliding door and tugged it open just as Julian made his way into the kitchen.
“If I remember correctly, it’s very sweet,” Nate said.
My cheeks burned.
“What’s sweet?” Julian asked.
Frantic, I shoved my hands into the dishwater and cut myself on a knife. “Fuck!” I jerked my hand out and rinsed off my finger. Luckily, Julian was more concerned with my little cut than Nate’s comment.
I should have put a stop to it all.
I should have packed my bags and run.
But something kept me there.
Maybe it was my vow to stay by Julian through good times and bad. Or maybe it was that somewhere deep down I knew I could never stay away from Nate, no mattered how hard I tried. The love I felt for him was all consuming—and ugly. It never died. It couldn’t. Ten years later we were still the same two people, desperate to be near each other. Our love knew no limits. It didn’t care how many people we hurt, or how badly we hurt each other.
The few seconds we spent together healed years of pain.
There were stolen moments.
Soft, forbidden touches.
Glances that made my heart speed in my chest.
I savored every second.
I felt when his eyes were on me. When he scanned my body from across the room.
Slowly, I began to dress for him: nicer shirts and shorter shorts. A little more blush on my cheeks. I spent more time in the morning making sure my hair was exactly how I wanted it.
It was all for him.
I insinuated my feelings toward him, but I never acted on them. After our passionate kiss in the garage, I kept my distance. My heart was still torn on what I should do. I reminded myself it was for my own good. It was the right thing to do. As if after everything we had been through, I suddenly developed a moral compass.
Julian was getting the help he needed, and that weight was lifted off my shoulders. But I couldn’t leave him now.
For better or for worse.
In sickness and in health.
‘Til death do us part.
It was late one night when I arrived home from the diner to find Delaney out on the deck. She had her feet up, her Kindle on her lap, and a glass of red wine in her hand.
“Hey, D.” I smiled as I passed her.
“You're just now getting home?” I nodded. “Come, have a drink with me.” I didn’t see the harm in that since she was alone.
Two glasses later, we were in a deep conversation about life and how much difference ten years made. We reminisced about our college years and so on. Eventually, Julian came and sat next to me. He had been sober three weeks and proudly carried around his sobriety chip.
He kissed me on the cheek and joined the conversation. Delaney was telling us about Caleb’s summer camp when my phone buzzed on the table. I slid my finger across the screen and was greeted with a text message.
Nicole: I want you for me.
I brought my phone closer to my chest and responded.
Me: That sounds like a personal problem.