“Fuck,” he growled. “You’re fucking tight.” He sank deep inside me and I whimpered. Months. It had been almost ten months since I had sex.
Nate gave me a few seconds to adjust and then he began to thrust in and out. It was gentle at first but like a small fire it grew until we were both panting, desperate for air. He grunted my name as I moaned his. He called me beautiful while I begged him not to stop. Our bodies grew damp with sweat. I clung to his body and when my second orgasm took over, my fingernails scraped down his back. Nate buried his head in the crook of my neck and pounded deep into me, finding his own release.
He lay atop me until our breathing calmed. His hand traced the lines of my face. “Hi,” he whispered and leaned down to kiss me.
I hugged him tightly, not wanting this moment to fade away. Between the alcohol in my system and feeling sated from sex, my eyelids were heavy. “I’m sleepy.”
Nate kissed the tip of my nose and stood. I bypassed the paint supplies, threw a T-shirt over my bare body, and crawled into bed. I didn’t know if the arms that held me were Nate’s or my imagination, but sleep soon followed and I was oblivious to everything else.
I woke the following morning to my phone ringing. My head was heavy and there was someone else in my bed. Nate. My mind reminded me of the previous night.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck!
I dug under the covers until I found my cell phone. A new text message appeared on the screen. My eyes squinted as I adjusted to the brightness.
Delaney: Merry Christmas! Love you!
I closed my text message and noticed I had a missed call from Julian.
What the fuck did I do?
“Mmm,” Nate moaned and pulled me closer.
“You need to leave.” I tried to pull his hand off my body.
“Five more minutes.” He held me closer and kissed my shoulder.
“Seriously!” I began to panic as guilt permeated my body. “Get out.”
“Brie.” Nate lifted his head off the pillow. Confusion ran across his face.
“What we did last night never happened, do you understand?” I began to kick the sheets off our bodies. “It. Never. Happened.”
“Fuck.” He wiped the sleep off his face. “Brie, wait.”
“You need to leave.” I hopped off the bed and gathered his clothes from the floor.
“Can we talk about it?”
“No!” I threw his shirt at him. “There is nothing to talk about. Nothing happened.”
“We can’t do that.” He shoved his shirt over his head. My gaze met his eyes and then I pulled them away.
“She’s my best friend!” I pulled a pair of pajama bottoms from my dresser and slid them on. “He’s your brother!” I scurried around the room looking for a hair tie. Tubes of paint were scattered around the floor. My eyes refused to look up at the red wall.
“Where does that leave us?’
“Nowhere!” I shouted. “Don’t you get it? This is wrong. So fucking wrong, and people will be hurt by our actions.”
Nate stood up from the bed and walked toward me. His boxers hung at his waist and I tried to ignore the fact he made me feel things I had never experienced before. “Tell me you don’t feel this.”
“Nathaniel.” I bowed my head.
“Tell me what happened last night wasn’t perfect.” He strolled closer until his body towered over mine. His hands ran across my cheek and lifted my chin. “You feel it, too. I know it.”
Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter what I feel. What we did was wrong.” I bit my lip and hoped the tears wouldn’t come. “Please, Nate, you have to leave.”
His let his hand drop and walked past me. I turned to see him slide his jeans up his legs, put his shoes on, and grab his jacket. “When you’ve cleared your mind, we can talk.”
It was the last thing he said before he left my room.
My heart ached. Guilt pressed on my lungs and made it impossible to breathe. Tears began to drip down my face as I realized I could never have the man I wanted.
Crawling back into bed, I pulled the covers over my body. His scent lingered in my sheets and I found myself coiling around them as I cried myself to sleep. Shame resonated deep within me but it didn’t come alone. It brought doubt and insecurity to the party.
I was a fucked up person.
Chapter 12
Brielle
I ignored the world after my night with Nate. I never texted Delaney back, and I ignored Julian completely. At one point, I even began to pack my bags to head back home, but a nor’easter stopped my trip. I sat in my room—alone—for an entire week. I only left to shower, but that was just down the hall.