Torn (Connections #2)(93)

"I'm so sorry all this has happened. I don't even know what to say. Do you think of me differently?" she asks, hesitating as she tucks her foot under her leg.

Taking her hand, I cover it with mine. "Bell, look at me." Her sad green eyes dart to mine and I say, "Of course not. I don't blame you for anything that happened. I don't. So please don't think that. I know the situation is awkward, but let's not let it change things between us. Okay?"

Nodding, she bites her lip. "You know I never knew he was the same person."

"Let's just not discuss him. Please?"

"I'm sorry, Dahlia," she says. Then, just like her brother, she has the uncanny ability to change topics seamlessly. "How are you doing?"

"Much better than I ever thought I would. How about we see what's in all those trays in the kitchen? I'm hungry."

She smiles at me and pulls me in for a big hug. "I love you, Dahlia."

"I love you, too, Bell."

We head toward the kitchen and I look outside. Nix and Garrett have joined River and Xander and they're all sitting around the table, talking calmly. I hope they can come to terms with River's decision because they're so important to him. It wasn't easy for him to quit but I've come to believe it was the right thing for him to do. He loves to sing and play guitar, but he never wanted to be famous; he couldn't live his father's dream. He loves music but it needs to be on his own terms.

I'm staring out the window, watching as he runs his hands through his hair, when I blurt out, "Do you think everything happens for a reason?"

Bell grabs a stack of plates and sets them on the counter. "Yeah, I hope so. I'd like to think it does, anyway."

Shoving the pans in the oven, I close the door and turn it on. My next words catch in my throat but I push them out. "What made you decide to give up the baby?"

She stares at me for a long moment before she answers. "After everything that happened, I just knew the baby would be better off with two parents who loved it."

There's another stretch of silence, but I think it's understood that we both accept the strange situation. We will be okay. Neither one of us will let anything harm our friendship. Opening the refrigerator, I grab two bottles of water and hand her one.

Bell laughs and takes a sip. "And come on, Dahlia, let's be real. Could you see me with a five-year –  old right now?"

"I think you'd be surprised at what you could do."

Snorting, she says, "What? Isn't it normal that a twenty-five-year-old lives with her mom?"

"Bell, you can change that anytime you want. You're doing great-you're managing to juggle two jobs and, from what I hear, doing fantastic in both of them."

"Actually, I am moving. Xander found me an apartment in West Hollywood after I told him how much I really love my job with Tate. Xander is replacing me as soon as possible so I can start working full-time there."

"That's great, Bell. See, you can do whatever you want!"

The front door opens, and, in a whirlwind, Aerie rushes to the kitchen. She throws her purse on the counter and hurries over to me. We hug each other for a long time. "Dahlia, I am so sorry," she says.



       
         
       
        

When we break apart I look into her saddened eyes as she looks at me with affection and I manage to say, "I've missed you so much," before breaking down completely.

Bell leaves us alone and joins everyone else on the back deck. I have so much to tell Aerie but now doesn't feel like the right time. She puts her arm around my shoulder and leads me through the front door where we sit on the steps and talk about Grace.

About fifteen minutes later, the door opens and Bell stands there with the portable phone in her hand. "Dahlia, it's Serena, she says she really needs to talk to you." Handing it to me she whispers, "I'm going to go get dinner ready."

I nod and give her a warm smile.

A million horrible thoughts about Trent drift through my mind as I put the phone to my ear and cautiously say, "Hello."

"Dahlia, please come over. I need your help. I just can't do it."

"It's okay, Serena, calm down. What can't you do?"

"Pick out her clothes," she cries into the phone.

"Her clothes?" I swallow.

"I have to bring them to the funeral home by six. Could you come over and help me pick something out?"

Sadly, I know exactly what she's talking about. "Let me just change and I'll be there as soon as I can."

My stomach knotting, I look at Aerie. "I have to go, Serena needs help with some of the arrangements."