On the drive home, I think maybe I should stop at a store and buy something to wear. River isn't going to be happy that I'm wearing Ben's clothes. But I decide to just go home-he'll understand why after I tell him about Trent and what happened. He has no reason not to.
I scan the radio searching for songs that will make me smile-music is the one thing that always makes me happy. I thump my hands against the steering wheel and just listen to the beat of the music throbbing in my ears. Listening to each song, the lyrics seem to play out in my head-they tell me a story. Every beat plays within me, as natural as the sound of the rain hitting the ground.
Chapter 18
What I've Done
Ben's Journal
Last night's turn of events was completely unexpected. Caleb picked me up and we went to Reality Bites to grab some food and talk. I ended up doing the drinking for both of us. He was on call and refused to even drink one beer. Good thing, since he got a message that an alarm was down. When he excused himself to make a call, I wondered why he couldn't do it in front of me. I was outright pissed when he came back and said he had to leave. I told him I'd ride along with him because I had nothing else to do. Now I know why he was so hesitant for me to come and why he said I had to stay in the car.
When he pulled through the gates of the Hills, it all made sense. I thought he had gotten fired so I had to ask if we were going where I thought we were going. He didn't answer me as he approached a cul-de-sac and parked his car in front of what I assumed to be the fucktard's house. I had no fucking idea that he was actually part of the irresponsibly rich and famous. It had an absurdly long upward sloping driveway, a large decorative front door that looked like he was waiting for royalty to visit, and what really got me was the modest landscaping. Doesn't he know she loves flowers?
I sat in the car for at least five minutes and couldn't take it anymore. I had to at least go look around. I walked up a million steps to get to the fucktard's door. When I spotted the wind chimes I knew for sure this was where she'd been staying. I heard loud music and people talking and could tell there was a party going on. Since the door was open, I thought I might be able to steal her away and talk to her without his eyes on me the whole time.
I spotted her right away. She looked fucking amazing. She was dressed up and I really wanted those long legs wrapped around me. When she saw me, the scowl on her face was anything but welcoming. I asked her about the pearl necklace she was wearing. She ignored my question so I knew rich boy must have given it to her. I'm surprised she's with someone who tries to buy her love. When I asked her the one thing that's been bugging the shit out of me, my fucking worst nightmare happened.
My dirty little secret was standing next to me and talking to my Dahl. Dahl ran off and I hadn't even noticed because my mind was engrossed in the vivid memories of all the different ways I had fucked that girl that one night. I only refocused when S'belle looked at me. I could have sworn she was looking at me like she got me, like she saw through my bullshit. But then she asked what the fuck I was doing there, and I knew I was just imagining it. Honestly, I'm really fucking tired of that question. Didn't matter anyway because she didn't stick around long enough for me to answer. She fled like fire out the front door.
I followed Dahl and when I opened the door she had slammed, I was surprised to see her hope chest on the other side of the room. I looked at the unmade bed and when I saw the black thong on the floor, I nearly lost it. I was in their bedroom. Fuck me!
When she told me how she knew S'belle I nearly shit my pants. Of course she's the prick's sister. It wasn't until I knew she didn't know the entire story that I could finally breathe. Just as I thought I was finally getting somewhere with Dahl, the prick came in looking like he wanted to kill me. All I could do was laugh, wishing I had at least been trying to kiss her when he walked in. I felt an overwhelming urge to remind him who had her first, and, shit, he threw a mean right hook. But I just kept on reminding him that she was mine first. I thought I could take him if I pushed a little hard. But when he pinned me up against the wall, I couldn't believe he got me again. Fuck, he's fast, but I knew I was faster. But before I could show him what I really had, Caleb pulled him off of me.
When Caleb threw me into his car, he really laid into me. I didn't say a word. I just really didn't give a shit anymore. We didn't talk the rest of the way home and when we exited at Laguna I told him to drop me at Ana's Attic. He pointed to the elbow I was rubbing and said he might need to pop that in place and that I needed to get a sling.