To get in beach mode, I pick up his phone and scroll through the iTunes store, downloading every song I can find with the word beach or fun in it. I want him to be excited to go to the beach, but most of the songs I select just make him roll his eyes-until I download "California Girls" by the Beach Boys. As it plays his smile widens. He sings along with me and we unknowingly have a contest for who can sing the words "wish they all could be California girls" the loudest. He smiles so brightly I can see his dimples. He even splays his hand out in the wind thumping to his own beat. When the song finishes I turn the volume down and just watch him.
He glances my way and lifts his sunglasses. "Yesss . . ."
"Nothing, I'm just surprised that you like the Beach Boys."
"Well . . . not that I want to ruin my cool rocker image or anything but I'll tell you a secret," he says, winking at me. "My dad made us listen to them every time we ever went to the beach and after a while they started to grow on me."
"That's actually really cool. And your rocker image is still intact, no worries. I won't tell anyone." River falls silent for the rest of the drive. I wonder if it was the song, the conversation, or the fact that we are quickly approaching the beach.
A part of me knows River feels the beach was a place for me and Ben, but that simply isn't true. True, we both loved the beach, but that doesn't mean I can't love it with River. I want to be able to experience the beauty of one of the most magical places with him and this feels like the time to bridge one of the last barriers between us.
We pull into the public parking lot and he swings the car into a spot. When he turns the ignition off, I can see his reluctance. "Hey, are you okay?"
Removing his sunglasses, he looks at me; I mean really looks at me before speaking. Then pointing to the beautiful Pacific Ocean that stands before us he says, "I'm not sure we should be doing this."
I don't hesitate in the slightest before saying, "Well, I am."
Then I reach over and push the hair from his eyes. "I love you. Only you. Okay? And I want to share one of my favorite places with you. I want us to experience this together. We need to do this, River-for you and for me. For us."
He sits quietly, like he's weighing the pros and cons of what I just said. He stays like that for the longest time. I try to hasten his decision by opening my door. But when he doesn't do the same, I move back in my seat and decide to resort to enticement. Pulling off my T-shirt, I sit there with the hot sun beating through the window in my black bikini top then lean back and wiggle out of my shorts.
While he watches me, his lips part and his chest moves a little more rapidly. A wicked grin appears on his face as he runs his finger up one of the strings of my top. "If you'd have taken your clothes off when we first got in the car, we probably would never have made it to the beach, you know." With that, he opens his door, takes his shoes off, and stands to strip off his jeans. I watch him and think he's right.
***
"Come with me," he says, quirking a finger and leading me up the mound of rocks. I stop halfway to snap photos of him climbing. His strong muscular legs easily carry him up the rocks. When he sits on one of the boulders, I crouch down and snap. The wind blows through his light brown hair and with his sunglasses on he not only looks content and carefree, but sexy as hell. Every muscle in his chest and abs is on display as I click, zooming in to capture one or two close shots. "Sing something for me." I have to raise my voice to be heard around the camera and the sound of the ocean splashing against the rocks.
He reaches his hand to pull me next to him but I stay right where I am. Standing, I steady myself and flip my camera to video mode. "Come on, one song."
His eyes move across my face then drift down my body. He smiles a small sneaky grin. "Do I look like a jukebox?" he says, stifling a laugh.
Feeling the familiar heat of his gaze I answer. "No, of course not. Why do you ask?" I already know his question has a purpose and I'm extremely curious to discover what it is.
"You asked for a song, if I were a jukebox you'd have to insert coins to get me to play. Right?"
"Yes, I suppose if you were but since you're not . . ." I stand there admiring the glow of his hair in the sunlight.
He extends his hand again. "Then come here and give me a kiss and I'll play something for you."
Slipping my hand in his, he pulls me to his lap. I wrap my arms around him and his lips find mine. His kiss is soft, warm and full of promise. His hands move everywhere . . . up my back, over my arms, on my hips. His kisses become harder and deeper until we both break for air, both feeling that familiar desire surfacing. Placing kisses up and down my neck, his lips slide along my collarbone and up my chin to my ear. He starts singing "Beach Side" in my ear, and, in the exhilaration of the moment, I forget all about videoing him. Next to kissing him, hearing River sing to me is the most romantic thing I've ever known.