I decide to turn around. Not because Luke threatens me to do so with that fucking look in his eyes-but because I need to convince this judge that he’s making the right decision when he throws this case out due to self-defense.
I try to follow along as both lawyers stand up and speak. I try to follow along as the judge responds to each of them. I smile when the judge looks at me. But inside, my blood is boiling. Knowing Luke is back there, sitting next to her, holding her. That means she’s probably been with him at night while I’m forced to fuck my own hand, alone in my jail cell. It also means he’s probably been inside her. His fingers, his dick, his fucking tongue. Tasting and taking what’s mine. What was supposed to be only mine.
My pulse is raging when the judge’s gavel comes down. “This court session is adjourned.”
I breathe in slowly through my nose. I release it when I look at Paul. “What the fuck just happened?”
He makes a face like I’m supposed to keep my voice low. My eyes flick to the back of the room when I hear Sloan’s cry. Luke is helping her stand, but her arms are around him and she’s crying. Sobbing.
She’s upset. That can’t be good news for me. She’s upset for me.
“Is this going to trial?” I ask Paul. “You said this wasn’t going to fucking trial!”
Paul shakes his skinny little head. “The judge decided not to take it to trail,” Paul says. “Which means your claims of self defense were upheld. You’ll have to go back to your cell, but only until I can bail you out on the other charges pending against you. It may be four or five hours, but I’ll come get you once your bail is posted.”
I glance back at Sloan, watching as Luke helps her out of the courtroom. Why is she crying, then? If the charges against me were dismissed, why is she crying?
“How long do you think it takes someone to recover from being completely fucking brainwashed?” I ask Paul.
I glance back at him and he shrugs. “What are you talking about, Asa?”
“Like how much therapy do you think a person will need in order to get over being brainwashed? A few weeks? Months? More than a year?”
Paul stares at me a moment and then shakes his head. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Asa.”
He stands, so I stand. The same four guards escort me out of the courtroom.
I should probably be fucking ecstatic that this case just got thrown out. The next one should be even easier, because Paul says Luke’s department isn’t pressing charges. So as long as I cut a plea deal, undergo some psychiatric treatment and give them the information they want on Jon and Kevin, I more than likely won’t be charged with shooting Luke in the fucking chest.
That says a lot about our court system. I fucking come within six centimeters of killing a guy in cold blood, and I walk free because I tattle and claim a mental illness?
I fucking love the USA.
It almost feels like all my efforts have gone to waste, though. Since the moment I started growing suspicious that someone was brainwashing Sloan, I’ve been concocting this elaborate scheme and I’m not even really getting credit for it. I had to deny having anything to do with the fake raid, which was really hard for my ego. I’m fucking proud of that and I want to brag to the world that I pulled it off flawlessly.
Not to mention the fucking schizophrenia shit. Shower with your clothes on, check the lock on a door a few times and people think you’re losing your fucking mind. I had to do it, though. I know myself and I knew if I found out my suspicions were true and Sloan was fucking someone else, that I would more than likely lose my shit and murder the guy. I can’t very well murder someone and run the risk of being tried as a mentally competent adult. I had to have a back-up plan so I wouldn’t rot in fucking prison like my father did most of his life.
Maybe it wasn’t a complete waste. I at least have the “schizophrenia” to fall back on if I ever need it. Which I probably will eventually, because Luke is still breathing.
When I make it back to my cell, I fall down onto the bed as the bars clank shut behind me. I can’t help but smile.
This whole thing is turning out so beautiful. Sloan will take some time to come around again, but I know she will. Especially once Luke is out of the picture for good. I’ll have to somehow look past the fact that Luke has been inside her. I can fuck him out of her, though. I’ll just have to fuck her a whole goddamn bunch and in every position until I no longer think about him when I look at her.
“What are you so fucking happy about?” a voice says.
I turn my head and look at my cellmate. I can’t remember his name. He’s asked me about a million questions since I was thrown in this cell with him, but this is the first time I actually answer him.