Ryan nods, slowly. “Unless…we work out some sort of a plea deal. His lawyers are pushing for it. They want us to agree to drop the charges in exchange for information on Jon and Kevin and a few other people in the investigation. Like I said, Luke. It all depends on the judge. And the District Attorney, of course. That’s a good thing, because the DA likes you. I don’t see him pushing for anything when it comes to charges against you, but if we push for charges to be brought against Asa, his lawyers are going to push back. So you need to think about that long and hard.”
I can’t even believe what I’m hearing right now.
“What about everything else he’s done?” Sloan asks. “All the times he forced himself on me? Can I not press charges against him for that?”
Tillie nods. “You can, but what exactly are you claiming? Rape? Did he rape you?”
Sloan glances at me, then back at Tillie. She shrugs. “I don’t even know,” she says quietly. “There were several times I…I was terrified he would hurt me so…I just let him.”
Tillie stands up and walks over to the bed, sitting next to Sloan. “Did you ever tell him no? Did you ever ask him to stop and he refused?”
Sloan pauses in thought, and then shakes her head. “No, I was too scared to say no. I pretended I was okay with it every time.”
Tillie tilts her head in sympathy and squeezes Sloan’s hand. “I’m afraid that won’t hold up in court,” she says. “All he has to do is claim he wasn’t aware that you didn’t want to have sex with him. If the accused is never told no and assumes you’re willing based on your actions…”
Sloan’s head falls back into her hands. Then she just leans toward me and collapses against my chest. I wrap my arms around her and press my lips to her head.
“I’m sorry,” Tillie says. “There were several things that could have been handled differently to prepare for a solid case against him. Several things that prevent us from pursuing Asa like we wish we could.”
“You mean several things I messed up,” I interject.
Ryan stands. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Luke. I encouraged several of those mistakes. Sometimes cases are cut and dry. Sometimes we get everything we need before the end of an investigation. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those. This one was messy from beginning to end, and there isn’t much we can work with at this point. They found nothing in his house after Jon and Kevin cleared out with whatever would enable us to file charges. All they found was some unexplained cash and a stash of prescription pills. It’s not enough to go after him-not with the way Asa and his lawyers are going to fire back at us. Sometimes it’s just not worth the fight.”
I feel Sloan tense against me. She lifts up and glares at Ryan. “Not worth the fight?” she says. “He murdered someone! And he would have killed Luke if it weren’t for six fucking centimeters! Now you’re saying he’ll likely walk free? He’s going to be able to find me? To find Luke? Because he’s not giving up, Ryan! He won’t give up until Luke is dead and you know that!”
“Sloan,” I say, pulling her back to me. “Stop. We don’t know that he won’t be convicted of anything yet. Try to calm down.”
She cries against my chest and I hold her while Ryan stares down at her, the regret and sympathy evident in his expression. He just nods slightly and says, “I’m sorry, Sloan. I really am.” He looks at me and his eyes are saying the same thing to me. I nod, letting him know I understand. This isn’t Ryan’s fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault but my own.
Ryan and Tillie both walk toward the door. I pull Sloan against me and hold her, trying to ease her fears. But her whole body is wrecked with tremors. I never knew just how scared she was of Asa until this moment.
I press a kiss to the side of her head and I whisper, “It’ll be okay, Sloan. You aren’t alone this time. I’m here and I won’t let him hurt you. I swear.”
I hold her until she falls asleep in my arms from pure exhaustion.
***
ASA
“Do you have any questions?” my lawyer asks.
His name is Paul. Same as my father. I almost refused him when I found that out, but he’s got the best reputation in the state. I won’t hold it against him that he shares a name with the person I hate the second most in this world.
Luke is the first.
“No,” I say. “We walk into the courtroom, I plead self-defense and the judge decides whether or not it goes to trial.”
Paul nods. “That’s right.”