Eli looked down, then looked at me, then returned his gaze to the surface of the lake. "Too risky," he said. "There must be some other way out of here."
I watched as one police car after the other drove up and parked. Officers were stepping out of their vehicles. Even in the shadows I could see their guns were drawn as the officers made their way to the door.
"You're the expert," I said. "But you better think fast."
"Fuck," Eli muttered again. Fear had significantly reduced his vocabulary. He tried the window latch, and it opened easily. All it took was a single jump, and then we'd be plummeting to possible escape. Eli's face was full of doubt.
"I swore I would never step foot in this lake again," he said. "I can't lose you, too. I could never forgive myself."
"Eli," I said, grabbing his shoulders. "You mom's death was not your fault. There was nothing else you could have done. But if you let us get captured in this room because you were too afraid to jump-well, then you would be to blame. We have no other choice."
Eli looked down once more. I had no idea what he was going to do.
"Take my hand," he said.
We clasped hands. His touch seemed to give me strength. My adrenaline was pumping so hard it overpowered my fear. When the helicopter had circled behind the house, blocking the pilot's view of us, we climbed onto the window sill. Eli shut the window behind us so the police wouldn't immediately know to look for us in the water.
///
The air was surprisingly cool, and gusts of wind nearly knocked me off balance. My toe slipped on the dusty sill and I nearly stumbled, but Eli caught me. I looked down and felt dizzy from the heights.
I glanced at Eli and saw that his chest was heaving. He was taking deep breaths.
"You jump as far as you can, you hear?" he said. "Okay. Jump!"
I shoved off the window sill with all my might. Eli's grip was so tight it hurt my hand. He leaped farther than I did, so he pulled me with him. The fall took longer than I was expecting, and I had several seconds to contemplate my own death surrounded by the beautiful green mountains edging the lake.
Then we hit the water with a whoosh! and we sank deeper and deeper into the icy abyss. My body hit the surface with such force it knocked the breath out of me, and I swallowed water. I don't know how far down I sank, but it was enough to pop my ears and make me panic. I was losing oxygen fast. Finally my own buoyancy began to lift me toward the light, and I bobbed above the surface in time to gasp for air.
Eli held me as we floated in the freezing water. We looked up as the helicopter slowly circled back around. The police officers were apparently too far away to have heard our splash.
Eli's teeth were chattering in the cold. "I couldn't save her," he said.
Not this again. I grabbed Eli by the shoulders and tried to shake him out of his stupor. "Eli!" I said. "Now is not the time! We have to swim or we're going to get ourselves caught. Then we'll both be in prison. I love you, Eli, but you have got to snap out of it. Grieve later."
"I love you, too," he said. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," I said. "Just swim."
7.
The sun had fallen behind the peaks of the mountains, which cast cragged shadows across the lake. The water was so cold as Eli and I swam away from the chateau. With any luck, the police had not yet found our car, and we might even be able to drive to safety. It was difficult and slow to swim because the lake water was moving swiftly only a few feet below the placid surface. I glanced at Eli and could barely make out his features amid the shadows. Even in the darkness I could tell he was incredibly focused on swimming, blocking out any other thoughts. By narrowing his thoughts to our immediate escape he was able to push down the sad memories this lake conjured for him.
We could see and hear the cops swarming the chateau on the lake's edge. Occasionally the helicopter would swoop overhead, shining its spotlights on the lake, and we'd inhale deeply and duck underwater for a few seconds.
Eventually we put enough distance between us and them that I was able to relax a bit and let my mind wander. I couldn't help but smile when I remembered the way Eli had ruthlessly fucked my mouth, and I couldn't wait to experience what that cock could do when he turned his savage attention to other places. But one thing amazed me. I thought Eli would have been even more furious that I killed Mama. He hadn't even asked me how I did it, or what I did with her body. If you were locked up for a crime you didn't commit, wouldn't you want to know how the crime actually happened?
Tired and lost in thought, I failed to notice that Eli had begun to pull away from me. He was several yards ahead and gaining distance. The undercurrent was strong here. I kept trying to go forward, but it kept pulling me back. Pulling me down. It wasn't strong enough to really notice at first, but it was there nonetheless, a nearly imperceptible force. My body seemed to not want to float, and the current was slowly sucking me lower, making it increasingly wearisome to keep my head above water. Needing a break, I took a gulp of air and let my body rest. It was such sweet relief to not have to fight that current, to just drift with it for a moment. The way I figured, as soon as I needed a breath I would simply kick and swim back up.
I looked above my head, toward the surface. Beyond the water, the sky was a different shade of the same black night. My body was deeper than I had realized and I was out of breath. I swept my arms and kicked my feet, but I didn't move. If anything, I had sunk a little lower. I thrashed and kicked then panicked and accidentally took in water. I coughed, emptying my lungs of oxygen and filling them with even more cold water. A helicopter spotlight briefly shone over me, illuminating the lake surface, and I saw just how swiftly I was sinking. I tried to scream but only gurgled.
Moments before losing consciousness, drifting down to my eternal grave, I felt his hand on my wrist. His grip hurt. It was too tight. Why was Eli bothering me?
///
And then everything went black.
8.
The next thing I knew, my chest was throbbing and I was spewing water and gasping for breath. I opened my eyes and saw Eli kneeling over me, a distraught look on his face. At first I thought we were lying in bed and I couldn't understand why my bed consisted of wet pebbles. And then I realized I was lying on the edge of the lake. Eli had saved me.
Eli sighed with relief when my breathing steadied. "Thank God," he said. "I thought I lost you. Are you okay?"
I did my best to nod my head.
"We can't stay here," he said. "We're too exposed and we have to get back to the forest, back to the car. Can you walk?"
I could see the urgency in his eyes and hear it in his tone, but all I wanted to do was lie there and sleep. I was so tired. But I had to do this for Eli. I tried to push myself up onto my elbows, then collapsed on the pebbles as my heavy eyelids closed.
"I'm sorry, little girl," Eli said. "This is no time for a nap."
He scooped me up and held me like a baby, with my face on his shoulder and my body cradled in one arm, and he darted across the rocky beach, to a steeper bank leading up to the driveway. It was covered in tall reeds that brushed and tickled as he pushed through them, parting the weeds with our wet bodies. I scarcely noticed, I was so out of it.
Eli stopped at the edge of the reeds bordering the road, watching and listening for the presence of danger, then sprinted across the road and into the brush on the other side. Before long we were back to Maurice's SUV, and Eli had placed me in the passenger seat. He was about to crank the engine and make a getaway when we saw headlights approaching in the distance. Two police cars were leaving. Maybe it was the end of their shift.
"We'll have to wait here for a while until those cops clear out," Eli said. "It's okay for now. They won't be able to see us through the brush."
I put my hand in Eli's. My hand seemed so tiny compared to his. He gently curled his fingers around mine and held me.
"You saved my life," I said.
"Just paying you back for saving mine." Eli smiled faintly.
"But you wouldn't have even needed saving if I hadn't … if you hadn't been in prison," I said.